Random Thoughts, by Jack Handey

by **Grotewold** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:12:34

Bill McNeal wrote:

BONER PILLZ!!!!

It's not fair that blacks look cool bald and white guys resemble a thumb

by **lethal** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:45:47

Somasa chat is a somosa in a bowl with chickpeas, yogurt, some sort of herbs and something else. Very tasty.

by **td11** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 13:00:53

sounds delish, ima have to try it some time

by **Phan In Phlorida** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 13:02:26

Bakestar wrote:
td11 wrote:
TenuredVulture wrote:
td11 doesn't know if she has a girlfriend or not. Rather than asking the professor (creepy and inappropriate) he just ask her out. If she says she has a boyfriend, at that point, just drop the whole thing.

paul i was 100% kidding about emailing my prof. that would be beyond retarded.

in other news, super hot girl that i've had a semi-crush on since freshman year just broke up with her bf of 2+ years.

IT JUST DOESN'T STOP.

i remember she sat on my lap at a party once and it was the most difficult situation ever. you know.

come strapped

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T27oOfoZPg0[/youtube]

by **td11** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 13:39:14

i just had to look up the spelling of caterpillar

by **Bakestar** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 13:42:58

1 wrote:
CFP wrote:Why did I spend 3 hours of my life on an Asher Roth concert?

asher roth has more than three minutes of material?

Better or worse than MC Paul Barman?

by **Houshphandzadeh** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 13:53:01

Barman was good at what he was trying to do.

by **Grotewold** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 14:15:23

I just saw a girl here with a great butt like a Pizza Hut mini basketball. Combining many of the best things like sex, basketball, and pizza. The Book-It program

by **Bakestar** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 14:16:55

Grotewold wrote:I just saw a girl here with a great butt like a Pizza Hut mini basketball. Combining many of the best things like sex, basketball, and pizza. The Book-It program

This mash-up of James Joyce and Chuck Klosterman just made me LOL.

by **Stay_Disappointed** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 15:16:42

phatj wrote:
Phan In Phlorida wrote:
phatj wrote:My company announced a total no-smoking policy today. Not just in the building (duh) but anywhere on the premises. People are going ape-$#@! here right now.

The factory where my brother works went totally smoke-free (no smoking on premises) a year ago. According to him, the health insurance provider essentially, uh, "coerced" the corporate execs into it (substantial premium increase if they didn't).

We are a health insurance provider. This was touted as being for the benefit of the employees, but anyone with an IQ better than your average gastropod probably could read between the lines.

next step: no smoking at home either

by **Slowhand** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 16:06:53

You blatantly run a stop sign and I honk at you for it and you give me the finger? Go back to New Jersey with all the other pieces of shit.

by **Bakestar** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 16:07:59

Slowhand wrote:You blatantly run a stop sign and I honk at you for it and you give me the finger? Go back to New Jersey with all the other pieces of $#@!.

hey now, watch it

by **Houshphandzadeh** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 16:16:08

I just shelved a book called Master Breasts.

by **Barry Jive** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 16:17:20

good band name? i never know.

by **Werthless** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 17:08:20

Apparently, my company is rebooting its server now (on site). The internet is down. But I can still access BSG for some reason. What gives? Is someone running BSG off a local server?

by **Werthless** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 17:14:16

WTF. I can't access gmail, yahoo, espn, my network drive, but BSG works fine.

by **Werthless** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 17:14:33

I hope this doesn't mean I'm fired.

by **CrashburnAlley** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 17:22:53

Werthless wrote:I hope this doesn't mean I'm fired.

Stay ahead of the curve and start stealing office supplies now.

by **Bill McNeal** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 17:24:43

by **ReadingPhilly** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 17:29:50

td11 wrote:i remember she sat on my lap at a party once and it was the most difficult situation ever. you know.

did you talk about the first thing that popped up? lolololol

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Random Thoughts, by Jack Handey