Random Thoughts, by Jack Handey

by **Woody** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 04:40:05

Monkeyboy wrote:Your menu is not a bread plate, you disgusting slob. Do you know how many people have touched that menu your bread is sitting on? And now the menu has butter on it, too. Twit.

THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR PICKING MILWAUKEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

by **Houshphandzadeh** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 08:55:27

TenuredVulture wrote:The world would be a better place if there were more guerrilla theater, dance, and music. $#@! permits. This isn't France.

Like that wheelchair guy with the megaphone by city hall murdering "Stand By Me"? I'll pass.

by **TenuredVulture** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 09:30:31

WilliamC wrote:
TenuredVulture wrote:
td11 wrote:Second one. I think she's at least part hispanic. So facking cute. Maybe i should email my prof and ask if she's single.

I really wouldn't put too much energy in trying to find out if she's single. Either she's got a ring, or she's available to be asked out. Face it, the old "I have a boyfriend" is probably the gentlest rejection you can get. Who cares if she really does or not?

Well these guidelines work for guys without girlfriends but I would be pissed if someone tried to steal a girl from me thinking like this.

I passed on a girl that would have been one the best notches on my belt because she had a boyfriend that I knew. Wasn't even my friend. I don't want a cookie because right now I wouldn't do the same thing.

td11 doesn't know if she has a girlfriend or not. Rather than asking the professor (creepy and inappropriate) he just ask her out. If she says she has a boyfriend, at that point, just drop the whole thing.

by **Houshphandzadeh** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 09:33:08

No. You don't do anything except admire the hot TA during class. Then that night you go to the bar or the party and hit on the girls there.

by **TenuredVulture** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 09:36:27

True story--I was once a TA, and was stalked by a female student. I'll just say for the record that creepy anonymous notes on Laura Ashley paper aren't effective.

by **Bucky** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:07:30

TenuredVulture wrote:True story--I was once a TA, and was stalked by a female student. I'll just say for the record that creepy anonymous notes on Laura Ashley paper aren't effective.

translation="she wasn't hot"

by **The Dude** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:07:58

Thanks for ruining my gay joke by being descriptive about the student

by **Bakestar** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:11:41

TenuredVulture wrote:True story--I was once a TA, and was stalked by a female student. I'll just say for the record that creepy anonymous notes on Laura Ashley paper aren't effective.

note to self...

by **Woody** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:07:57

I doubt it's any small coincidence that pot smoking day and Earth day are so close to one another. I'll bet there are people out there making it a hash and hemp filled adventure this week

by **jerseyhoya** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:09:35

Woody wrote:I doubt it's any small coincidence that pot smoking day and Earth day are so close to one another. I'll bet there are people out there making it a hash and hemp filled adventure this week

Arbor Day is Friday too. Is there a need for Earth Day and Arbor Day?

by **Woody** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:13:02

Wow, really? This must be a conspiracy

Smoke some trees > Plant some trees > Hug some trees

by **Bill McNeal** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:14:11

BONER PILLZ!!!!

by **Bakestar** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:14:38

JC ROMERO WANTZ SUM!!!

by **Bill McNeal** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:16:04

is there a lefty reliever joke somewhere in there?

by **Woody** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:17:03

by **TenuredVulture** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:19:26

Bucky wrote:
TenuredVulture wrote:True story--I was once a TA, and was stalked by a female student. I'll just say for the record that creepy anonymous notes on Laura Ashley paper aren't effective.

translation="she wasn't hot"

I'm sure she wasn't, but I really don't know.

by **td11** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:05:07

TenuredVulture wrote:
td11 doesn't know if she has a girlfriend or not. Rather than asking the professor (creepy and inappropriate) he just ask her out. If she says she has a boyfriend, at that point, just drop the whole thing.

paul i was 100% kidding about emailing my prof. that would be beyond retarded.

in other news, super hot girl that i've had a semi-crush on since freshman year just broke up with her bf of 2+ years.

IT JUST DOESN'T STOP.

i remember she sat on my lap at a party once and it was the most difficult situation ever. you know.

by **Bakestar** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:06:35

td11 wrote:
TenuredVulture wrote:
td11 doesn't know if she has a girlfriend or not. Rather than asking the professor (creepy and inappropriate) he just ask her out. If she says she has a boyfriend, at that point, just drop the whole thing.

paul i was 100% kidding about emailing my prof. that would be beyond retarded.

in other news, super hot girl that i've had a semi-crush on since freshman year just broke up with her bf of 2+ years.

IT JUST DOESN'T STOP.

i remember she sat on my lap at a party once and it was the most difficult situation ever. you know.

come strapped

by **Bakestar** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:09:18

Re: McMahon above

Glad JDS latched on somewhere...

by **my cousin mose** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:10:49

i may be late to the party on the mcmahon thing, but the funniest part about that to me is his quote; b/c it reads like this guy said it:

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Random Thoughts, by Jack Handey