Random Thoughts, by Jack Handey

Postby dajafi » Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:54:40

When I was a kid, I loved mayo and hated mustard. At some point they began to switch, to the degree that now a sandwich isn't a sandwich without mustard, and mayo triggers nausea. Maybe it's a deep-recessive Jewish identity thing.

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Postby Trent Steele » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:01:46

dajafi wrote:When I was a kid, I loved mayo and hated mustard. At some point they began to switch, to the degree that now a sandwich isn't a sandwich without mustard, and mayo triggers nausea. Maybe it's a deep-recessive Jewish identity thing.


Steve Carlton lathers himself in mayo
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Postby Wolfgang622 » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:02:20

I don't mind mayonnaise on a Turkey sandwich, but I don't really get it either. Especially when compared to mustard. Mustard kicks mayo's ass every day and twice on Sunday.

And mayo on Italian hoagies is a huge pet peeve of mine. New York is stoopid for making them that way.
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Postby Wolfgang622 » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:02:41

Trent Steele wrote:Steve Carlton lathers himself in mayo


LOL
"I'm in a bar with the games sound turned off and that Cespedes home run still sounded like inevitability."

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Postby The Red Tornado » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:07:22

I feel cheated

Tourists who want to put a hand or foot in each of four states at the Four Corners area are apparently off the mark -- by about 2.5 miles.


20 years ago I thought I stood in 4 states at once and now I find out that it's been a sham. I need to go back.
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Postby Werthless » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:08:57

Man, me too. That sort of sucks.

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Postby jerseyhoya » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:09:55

mozartpc27 wrote:I don't mind mayonnaise on a Turkey sandwich, but I don't really get it either. Especially when compared to mustard. Mustard kicks mayo's ass every day and twice on Sunday.

And mayo on Italian hoagies is a huge pet peeve of mine. New York is stoopid for making them that way.


New York Italian subs have mayo on them?

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Postby Wolfgang622 » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:11:45

jerseyhoya wrote:
mozartpc27 wrote:I don't mind mayonnaise on a Turkey sandwich, but I don't really get it either. Especially when compared to mustard. Mustard kicks mayo's ass every day and twice on Sunday.

And mayo on Italian hoagies is a huge pet peeve of mine. New York is stoopid for making them that way.


New York Italian subs have mayo on them?


If you don't specifically tell them not to put it on there, as often as not, yes.

EDIT: I should add that I have been victimized on more than one occasion in New York by the mayo thing.
Last edited by Wolfgang622 on Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:13:10, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Bill McNeal » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:11:57

HOBOKEN, N.J. - Police say a man posing as a waiter collected $186 in cash from diners at two restaurants in New Jersey and walked out with the money in his pocket.

Diners described the bogus waiter as a spikey-haired 20-something wearing a dark blue or black button-down shirt, yellow tie and khaki pants.

Police say he approached two women dining at Hobson's Choice in Hoboken, N.J. around 7:20 p.m. on Thursday. He asked if they needed anything else before paying. They said no and handed him $90 in cash.

About two hours later he approached three women dining at Margherita's Pizza and Cafe. He asked if they were ready to pay, took $96 and never returned with their change.


wtf is on the pizza, gold?
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Postby Bill McNeal » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:12:46

mozartpc27 wrote:
jerseyhoya wrote:
mozartpc27 wrote:I don't mind mayonnaise on a Turkey sandwich, but I don't really get it either. Especially when compared to mustard. Mustard kicks mayo's ass every day and twice on Sunday.

And mayo on Italian hoagies is a huge pet peeve of mine. New York is stoopid for making them that way.


New York Italian subs have mayo on them?


If you don't specifically tell them not to put it on there, as often as not, yes.


Like when you order a cheese steak in north jersey and they cover it in sauce.
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Postby phatj » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:13:45

mozartpc27 wrote:I don't mind mayonnaise on a Turkey sandwich, but I don't really get it either. Especially when compared to mustard. Mustard kicks mayo's ass every day and twice on Sunday.

It doesn't have to be one or the other. I make sandwiches with mayo and mustard.
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Postby Bakestar » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:13:55

Bill McNeal wrote:
HOBOKEN, N.J. - Police say a man posing as a waiter collected $186 in cash from diners at two restaurants in New Jersey and walked out with the money in his pocket.

Diners described the bogus waiter as a spikey-haired 20-something wearing a dark blue or black button-down shirt, yellow tie and khaki pants.

Police say he approached two women dining at Hobson's Choice in Hoboken, N.J. around 7:20 p.m. on Thursday. He asked if they needed anything else before paying. They said no and handed him $90 in cash.

About two hours later he approached three women dining at Margherita's Pizza and Cafe. He asked if they were ready to pay, took $96 and never returned with their change.


wtf is on the pizza, gold?


It's Hoboken, and it's three chicks.

I'm guessing that tab includes pizza, an app or two, and like six cosmopolitans.
Foreskin stupid

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Postby jerseyhoya » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:22:05

mozartpc27 wrote:
jerseyhoya wrote:
mozartpc27 wrote:I don't mind mayonnaise on a Turkey sandwich, but I don't really get it either. Especially when compared to mustard. Mustard kicks mayo's ass every day and twice on Sunday.

And mayo on Italian hoagies is a huge pet peeve of mine. New York is stoopid for making them that way.


New York Italian subs have mayo on them?


If you don't specifically tell them not to put it on there, as often as not, yes.

EDIT: I should add that I have been victimized on more than one occasion in New York by the mayo thing.


The summer I worked at a sub shop on the Jersey shore, everything on it meant lettuce, tomatoes, onion, salt, pepper, oregano, oil and red wine vinegar. If you wanted pickles, hot or sweet peppers, mayo or mustard, you would have to specify. I could count on two hands the number of Italian subs I put mayo on all summer.

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Postby Bill McNeal » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:24:55

jerseyhoya wrote:
mozartpc27 wrote:
jerseyhoya wrote:
mozartpc27 wrote:I don't mind mayonnaise on a Turkey sandwich, but I don't really get it either. Especially when compared to mustard. Mustard kicks mayo's ass every day and twice on Sunday.

And mayo on Italian hoagies is a huge pet peeve of mine. New York is stoopid for making them that way.


New York Italian subs have mayo on them?


If you don't specifically tell them not to put it on there, as often as not, yes.

EDIT: I should add that I have been victimized on more than one occasion in New York by the mayo thing.


The summer I worked at a sub shop on the Jersey shore, everything on it meant lettuce, tomatoes, onion, salt, pepper, oregano, oil and red wine vinegar. If you wanted pickles, hot or sweet peppers, mayo or mustard, you would have to specify. I could count on two hands the number of Italian subs I put mayo on all summer.


That's because no one, not even new yorkers, want to sit on the beach in 90 degree sun and eat gobs of mayo.
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Postby Bucky » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:27:21

i'm sort of a traditionalist so I'm a little embarrased that I put mayo on my hoagies :oops:

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Postby Bill McNeal » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:30:16

AKRON, Ohio - Ohio police say a 52-year-old woman was attacked on her first day as an exotic dancer by a jealous co-worker wielding a stiletto heel.

Akron police Lt. Rick Edwards says the woman was assailed Friday night by a co-worker who didn't think the club needed more dancers. Police say one of the dancers took her stiletto and repeatedly struck the woman in the face as she walked into the basement dressing room.

The woman was treated at a hospital and received seven staples. She has declined to press charges against her assailant.

Police say the woman took the job because she needed the extra money. She has refused to talk to police about what happened.


So... the only way this story could be more awesome is if it involved ninjas, right?
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Postby VoxOrion » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:31:44

When I worked at Wawa back in the days when they used Amaroso rolls, cut sandwich meat to order, and generally made (no, BUILT) damn good hoagies, it was probably 50/50 whether people wanted oil/vinegar or mayo.

I must say, I was quite a sandwich maker and had many fans. Always go to the fat guy (though I was just pudgy and soft back then) when you need someone to make you something.
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Postby FTN » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:31:55

Ive got a little crush on Erin Burnett.

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Postby VoxOrion » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:32:25

I read that as Eric Bruntlett at first.
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Postby Bill McNeal » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:35:15

that too.
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