Random Thoughts, by Jack Handey

by **td11** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 23:46:37

being indian >>>>> being a pothead

(in my genes, so to speak).

by **jerseyhoya** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 23:51:35

My favored vice tracks much better with my ethnicity. :lol:

Though I poured two drinks this evening and didn't finish either. High times indeed.

by **Drugs Delaney** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 00:27:26

Amazon began shipping copies of my book late last week and I know a number of people who received them on Saturday or today. I autographed my first book today. I wasn't prepared for that, but it was fun. Perhaps pacino was wrong that my book is overpriced. Amazon has already sold out on its initial order from the publisher. Cool.

by **FTN** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 00:33:21

jesus

by **td11** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 00:46:08

meatball just commented on my fb status and i feel special.

by **td11** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 00:55:43

according to my calculations, you would have to drink like 376 bottles of 8oz tonic water to get the recommended dosage of quinine required to prevent malaria.

by **td11** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 02:38:14

i never understood why writers say/write "former 2005 (or whatever) 1st round pick so and so." he's still a first round pick, even if the pick was made in 2005. the "former" is unnecessary. "2005 first round pick" works just fine.

that is all.

by **Barry Jive** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 05:45:53

i think i'm in withdrawal after these two long weeks of day work (including having to work on Saturday and Sunday this past week). i'm drinking everything on Wednesday night.

by **Houshphandzadeh** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:03:07

Should I go to the Of Montreal concert tomorrow or watch the Sixers on teevee? I'm rather torn.

by **Slowhand** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:07:51

Drugs Delaney wrote:Perhaps pacino was wrong that my book is overpriced. Amazon has already sold out on its initial order from the publisher. Cool.

Or perhaps your mother is spending your inheritance.

by **CalvinBall** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:08:32

swishnicholson wrote:Get a job.

Me? I have one. I am a long term sub right now.

by **Houshphandzadeh** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:11:21

Oil or mayo?

by **CalvinBall** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:12:21

Depends what kind of hoagie I am eating.

by **Houshphandzadeh** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:12:56

Mayo sucks. Let's talk about it.

by **Bakestar** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:14:17

Houshphandzadeh wrote:Mayo sucks. Let's talk about it.

Strongly dislike mayo, but had to train myself to tolerate it in the event I'm at a picnic or other event where the only eating options are slathered in same.

by **jerseyhoya** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:15:57

Yeah, I've moved from strongly dislike to grudging acceptance of mayo. I would never put it on anything I eat, and I try and wipe it off if possible, but it doesn't ruin the sandwich if there isn't too much of it.

by **TenuredVulture** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:16:50

Mayo for me works on roast beef or turkey. And I use it in chicken, turkey, tuna, and egg salads.

However, I rarely, if ever, order a hoagie with any of those things. So, pretty much any hoagie I get will be oil and vinegar.

In this part of the South, mayo is at least as common a condiment for a hamburger as ketchup.

by **phatj** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:23:16

Mayo is awesome. If you don't like commercial jarred mayo, try making your own sometime -- it's quite easy.

by **VFB** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:24:10

You know how i know youre gay?
You drive a red solara.

by **VFB** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:27:27

back to topic...

oil
spicy mustard
miracle whip

(big gap)

yellow mustard
mayo

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Random Thoughts, by Jack Handey