Corny Jokes

Re: Corny Jokes

Postby The Dude » Thu May 01, 2014 20:22:26

just fouund out a popular band started a temp agency
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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby phatj » Thu May 01, 2014 21:13:02

...
they were a chick hanging out with her friends at a bar, the Phillies would be the 320 lb chick with a nose wart and a dick - Trent Steele

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby The Dude » Thu May 01, 2014 21:43:07

Arcade for Hire

:q
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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby slugsrbad » Thu May 01, 2014 21:55:10

phatj wrote:...
Quick Google shows that GoGo is wrong with regards to the Kiwi and the Banana.

Doll Is Mine wrote:This Ellen DeGeneres look alike on ESPN is annoying. Who the hell is he?

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Houshphandzadeh » Thu May 01, 2014 21:57:06

boooooooo

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby The Dude » Thu May 01, 2014 22:00:54

you can't boo a corny joke!
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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Slowhand » Thu May 01, 2014 23:10:29

A hamburger walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Sorry, buddy, we don't serve food here"
How dare you interrupt my Lime Rickey!

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Slowhand » Sat May 03, 2014 21:26:39

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

[Reveal] Spoiler:
An investigator
How dare you interrupt my Lime Rickey!

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Bucky » Mon May 05, 2014 21:13:15


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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby phatj » Mon May 05, 2014 22:01:58

:D
they were a chick hanging out with her friends at a bar, the Phillies would be the 320 lb chick with a nose wart and a dick - Trent Steele

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Soren » Wed May 14, 2014 15:42:35

My dad accidentally told me he isn't my real father :q
[Reveal] Spoiler:
talk about a faux pas
Olivia Meadows, your "emotional poltergeist"

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Wolfgang622 » Wed May 14, 2014 23:48:07

Soren wrote:My dad accidentally told me he isn't my real father :q
[Reveal] Spoiler:
talk about a faux pas


I :h: this one.
"I'm in a bar with the games sound turned off and that Cespedes home run still sounded like inevitability."

-swish

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Phred » Thu May 15, 2014 13:52:15

A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Give me some Chapstick and put it on my bill."

A lady walks into a bar with a duck under her arm. Goes to the bar and orders a drink.
The drunk sitting next to her says, "Hey! Where's you get that pig?"
The lady says, "That's not a pig. Its a duck."
The drunk says, "I was talking to the duck!"

A string walks into a bar, goes to the bar and orders a drink.
The bartender says, "We don't serve strings here. You need to leave."
The string goes outside, twists himself all up, cuts his edges up a little bit and goes back in.
The bartender says, "Hey, weren't you just in here as a string?"
The String says, "I afraid not."

Punchlines for jokes that are too long to type out:
- Well you see office, I have 2 obese Pattys, Lester cheats, Pickin' bunyons on a Sesame Street bus.
- Oppornockitty only tunes once.
- Its a knick-knack Paddywhack! Give the frog a loan!
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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Phan In Phlorida » Fri May 16, 2014 03:45:10

Did you hear about the dyslexic Somali?
He joined a pilates crew.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Bucky » Mon May 19, 2014 14:26:45

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful woman wave at him and saying hello. He's rather taken aback because he cant even place where he knows her from but, because she is so beautiful, he goes over and asks ' Do you know me?' The woman replies 'I think you are the father of one of my kids' Startled, the man's mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and asks "Oh my God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching and cheering, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"

The woman looks into his eyes and calmly replies "No I'm your son's math teacher"

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby slugsrbad » Tue May 20, 2014 13:19:34

What do you call someone who discriminates based on weight?

[Reveal] Spoiler:
a waistist
Quick Google shows that GoGo is wrong with regards to the Kiwi and the Banana.

Doll Is Mine wrote:This Ellen DeGeneres look alike on ESPN is annoying. Who the hell is he?

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby my cousin mose » Tue May 20, 2014 17:00:14

Bucky wrote:A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful woman wave at him and saying hello. He's rather taken aback because he cant even place where he knows her from but, because she is so beautiful, he goes over and asks ' Do you know me?' The woman replies 'I think you are the father of one of my kids' Startled, the man's mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and asks "Oh my God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching and cheering, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"

The woman looks into his eyes and calmly replies "No I'm your son's math teacher"

bravo!
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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby ashton » Wed Jun 18, 2014 02:52:15

Phred wrote:Punchlines for jokes that are too long to type out:

- Its a knick-knack Paddywhack! Give the frog a loan!


Here's Norm MacDonald telling that joke.

link

It starts 3 minutes in.

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Barry Jive » Wed Jun 18, 2014 02:56:52

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back

[Reveal] Spoiler:
a stick
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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby TomatoPie » Wed Jun 18, 2014 10:26:18

ashton wrote:
Phred wrote:Punchlines for jokes that are too long to type out:

- Its a knick-knack Paddywhack! Give the frog a loan!


Here's Norm MacDonald telling that joke.

link

It starts 3 minutes in.


My favorite version was told by Oogie to Uncle Floyd. I have it on DVD but can't find it on YouTube
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