Corny Jokes

Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Bucky » Fri Jan 31, 2014 10:15:09

nice

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby WilliamC » Fri Jan 31, 2014 15:38:21

I seriously think Barry Jive made that one up and if so...good job!
Do it again!

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Barry Jive » Fri Jan 31, 2014 15:42:09

nah, there's a reddit thread full of "intellectual" jokes, lots of which i barely understand. some of them are infuriating, like this one

There were three kingdoms, each bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knght with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight's armor.

The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.

The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.

And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Houshphandzadeh » Fri Jan 31, 2014 15:49:11

boo

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Barry Jive » Fri Jan 31, 2014 15:50:24

first time i read it i wanted to punch a hole in my computer screen
no offense but you are everything that's wrong with America

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Bucky » Fri Jan 31, 2014 15:51:30

was that by stephen pastis

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby WilliamC » Fri Jan 31, 2014 16:30:05

Knock knock...
Do it again!

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby phatj » Fri Jan 31, 2014 21:01:49

Barry Jive wrote:nah, there's a reddit thread full of "intellectual" jokes, lots of which i barely understand. some of them are infuriating, like this one

There were three kingdoms, each bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knght with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight's armor.

The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.

The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.

And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

I actually laughed out loud
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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby CalvinBall » Tue Feb 04, 2014 17:13:55

all that for a pretty weak pun

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Werthless » Tue Feb 04, 2014 18:01:33

phatj wrote:
And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

I actually laughed out loud

me too

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Werthless » Tue Feb 04, 2014 18:03:47

CalvinBall wrote:all that for a pretty weak pun

I enjoy telling a different joke, taking about 4 minutes, that ends in a disappointing pun. Joke's on everyone else.

(Just like how a walk can be as good as a hit, a groan can sometimes be as good as a laugh.)

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby swishnicholson » Tue Feb 04, 2014 18:10:56

And a nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat.
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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby slugsrbad » Wed Feb 05, 2014 00:20:55

swishnicholson wrote:And a nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat.


Leave Ryan Howard out of this.

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby slugsrbad » Wed Feb 05, 2014 00:22:58

Barry Jive wrote:3 logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks "Do all of you want a drink?"
The first logician says "I don't know."
The second logician says "I don't know."
The third logician says "Yes"


This is great.

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Monkeyboy » Wed Feb 05, 2014 06:43:04

Person 1: Knock Knock

Person 2: Who's there?

Person 1: Interrupting cow.

Person 2: Interrupting co - interrupted by Person 1

Person 1: MOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!




This is my favorite stupid joke. People always laugh.
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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Bucky » Wed Feb 05, 2014 06:44:42

loses a lot in print

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby Bucky » Sat Mar 01, 2014 20:25:34

A: Shellfish of questionable Origin

Q: ?

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby The Dude » Wed Mar 05, 2014 21:02:46

seen online

What time does Sean COnnery arrive at Wimbledon?
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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby CalvinBall » Wed Mar 05, 2014 21:33:32

What time?

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Re: Corny Jokes

Postby The Dude » Wed Mar 05, 2014 21:34:09

Tennish!
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