why did the guy who makes goose-feather comforters hate interacting with his major supplier??

real downer?

HE WAS ALWAYS BRINGING HIM DOWN

There was this duck, who walked into a bar. And he says to the bartender "Got any grapes?" The bartender says "No, I don't have any grapes." The duck walks out, sorely disappointed.

So the next day, he walks back into the bar, asks the same question, gets the same answer.

The day after, he walks back into the bar, and again, asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender, having still not figured out why this duck seems to think he may have some grapes, says to the duck, "No, and if you come back in here tomorrow and ask me if I have any grapes, I will nail your bill to the bar!"

The duck frowns, turns around, and walks out of the bar.

So the next day, the duck walks back into the bar, and asks the bartender "Got any nails?"

The bartender says "No."

So the duck says "Got any grapes?"

What's long, brown, and sticky?

What's the first thing the cannibal did after he dumped his girlfriend?

A man walks into a bar and sees, standing next to the bartender, this giant gorilla. So the man, he sits at the bar, orders a drink, and says, "What's with the gorilla?" The bartender says, "Watch." Then he begins to start, like, hitting the gorilla. And the gorilla, he bends over and gives the bartender a blow job! When they're finished the bartender turns to the man and says, "Wanna try?"
"Sure!" says the man, "Just don't hit me so hard!"

what's bruce lee's favorite drink?

wat-TAH!

A man was getting ready for work and was shaving. He slipped and cut his nose off. He then dropped the razor and cut his toe off. He was taken to the ER and the doc put his nose where his toe was and his toe where his nose was. So now every time he sneezes, he blows his shoe off.

you guys hear about this new restaurant that opened up that only has one-legged waitresses?

IHOP

if quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests?

testicles

What's worse than 9/11?

How did the hipster burn his tongue?

Your mama's so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made skittles...

Eem wrote:What's worse than 9/11?

[Reveal] Spoiler:

311

True story

alligator who wears a vest? --investigator

a Kid original:

What did one beefcake say to the other beefcake??

did you guys hear about the two antennas that got married?

where do cousins come from?

my cousin mose wrote:did you guys hear about the two antennas that got married?

[Reveal] Spoiler:

the ceremony was nice but the RECEPTION WAS TERRBLE

shouldn't that be the other way around