The stat that I didn't understand as a kid was ITALICS. How could so many people be the league leader in it?

what do you call someone who compiles a day-by-day log following the life of dirty met chavez???

What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming?

"The elephants are coming"

What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming with sunglasses on?

Nothing. He didn't recognize them.

idk

I usually get excited when this thread is bumped, but now I'm not really feeling it.

Just made up this number:

guess who my favorite native american comedian is

who

Tee Pee Herman

Bucky wrote:what do you call someone who compiles a day-by-day log following the life of dirty met chavez???

What?

Houshphandzadeh wrote:who

He's on first.

Goodness.

Bucky wrote:

Bucky wrote:what do you call someone who compiles a day-by-day log following the life of dirty met chavez???

AN ENDY CHRONOLOGIST


BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

if lettuce could hunt, what would you call what it goes after???

Today I was approached by Beyonce who had just finished setting up at the studio.

She said to me, "Excuse me hon. You haven't seen my phone have you? It's pink with a 'Bubblicious' cover on it."
I said, "No, sorry. Have you tried calling it?"
She said, "No. I put it on silent."
I said, "If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it."

Lettuce prey!!!!!

CalvinBall wrote:idk

Corny, but not funny:

A string is walking down the street one day and decides to wet his whistle, so he steps into a corner bar and demands of the bartender, "Barkeep! Give me a drink!"

The bartender looks at him through narrowed eyes and says, "Get out of here stringy, we don't serve your kind here."

The string, offended but still highly dignified, retorts, "Alright, fine! I will take my business elsewhere!" He then continues his walk down the street, until he comes to a tavern at the next intersection. Again, he goes in, and again demands, "Barkeep! Give me a drink!"

The bartender growls back, "Get out of here you twine line, we don't serve your kind here."

The string, just as proud as before, tells the bartender he'll just take his business elsewhere. But when he gets to the next bar and demands a drink, he is met with a similar response. Now, the string is feeling a little weird about it all - what is wrong with everyone, he wonders?

So he exits this last bar, and he sees two other strings coming towards him, and he notices that they look just a little different. He stops them and asks, "Hey fellas, what is going on around here? How come I can't get a drink in this town?"

The two stranger strings exchange a knowing glace, and then one of them tells him, "We think we can help you out." So they fray up his top a little, and tie him up in a knot, and then tell him, "Now you go back in there and ask for that drink again." The string is confused, but says, "Alright," and goes back into the bar he just left, and asks again for a drink.

The bartender eyes him most suspisciously and says, "Aren't you that same stupid string I threw out of here five minutes ago?"

And the string says, "No... I'm a frayed knot."



Funny, much shorter, but not corny:

A guy goes into a doctor's office and the doctor says to him, "Well, I've got some bad news for you. You've got cancer and you've got Alzheimer's."

And the guy says, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."

What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet of the Starship enterprise?



























The captain's log!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA