Except she's your cousin. Or sister. Or mom.

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VoxOrion wrote:Except she's your cousin. Or sister. Or mom.

no, but she has a baby. i like him though.

Ramon Gris wrote:

Phight On! wrote:

Ramon Gris wrote:On a completely unrelated note, my girlfriend and I are apparently getting married in Prague before too long. I'm totally ready to give this a go, but I do tend to have lousy judgement. Beez, you wanna perform a ceremony in the Czech Republic?

I'm an ordained minister. I'm in.

That would be the awesomest wedding in the history of weddings. I want to do it somewhere in the Vyserhad. Let me know your availability

All the cheapo-ordinations taking over the legits...

Rev_Beezer wrote:

Ramon Gris wrote:

Phight On! wrote:

Ramon Gris wrote:On a completely unrelated note, my girlfriend and I are apparently getting married in Prague before too long. I'm totally ready to give this a go, but I do tend to have lousy judgement. Beez, you wanna perform a ceremony in the Czech Republic?

I'm an ordained minister. I'm in.

That would be the awesomest wedding in the history of weddings. I want to do it somewhere in the Vyserhad. Let me know your availability

All the cheapo-ordinations taking over the legits...

HOLY WAR

CalvinBall wrote:how was the trip? clearwater right?

yep....95 degrees, humid and sunny every day (and no oil!)

So the kayaking trip was interesting. 30 people that had never done it before were told to travel over a mile to an island to get puzzle pieces and come all the way back to assemble it, almost like Survivor. Two hours later, my hand was scratched up and bleeding, part of the paddle snapped off, a co-worker went face-first into a bunch of brush, two other co-workers were swept away by a current and were missing without anyone looking for them (and none of us had cell phones), and the "safety" boat that had our water supply decided to pick up a friend and head south to sunbathe. Ah, but since our team solved the puzzle first, we got.....the right to choose the first 2 props out of 8 (plastic bat, rake, picture frame, etc.) SO WE COULD DO EVEN MORE KAYAKING. That got canceled when we refused to participate without our missing co-workers. This guy leading the trip was high and/or drunk. Went by the name of "Carolina Mike" and warmed us up by taking us out to the beach in our watershoes and having us walk across fake lava with magic boots. Since the guy that's 3rd-highest in the entire company was in our group and doesn't like to lose, I found myself carrying two female co-workers on my back across fake f'ing lava. I couldn't see, but I grabbed ass and boob a few times. Win. One of the co-workers that drifted away is from India and never swam before in his life, and he had a wife that was due with their 2nd child any day. On the plane ride home last night, she delivered another daughter. The rest of the time in Clearwater was meetings, alcohol, swimming, alcohol, tanning, alcohol, dinner at Mike Alstott's restaurant, alcohol.....alcohol....um...more meetings...so yeah, awesome time...

So did you ever find the Indian with the pregnant wife and the other guy or what?

yea, they were fine. They misread the map we were given and went down the wrong channel and ended up in someone's backyard half a mile east of where the rest of us were. When the boat with our water finally showed up and we gave them (*@# for ditching us, they went out and found them 10 minutes later. Fortunately everyone was able to laugh about it afterward....

So your company is basically a big fraternity hazing outfit.

You could add some horror aspects from the perspective of the two that drifted away and I bet Hollywood would buy it.

EdBot learned to love

boobs

also, the VP of our group kayaked around to an area of the island that apparently doesn't get many visitors, since he was flashed by 5 nude sunbathers

a chocolate facial is something you want to advertise? to families?

degenerate society.

This whole Phillies thing is really putting some things into perspective, like how my parents must have felt when their first honors, killer SAT score, prep school grad burned out of college in fantastic fashion without the slightest ounce of dignity

Barry Jive wrote:This whole Phillies thing is really putting some things into perspective, like how my parents must have felt when their first honors, killer SAT score, prep school grad burned out of college in fantastic fashion without the slightest ounce of dignity

You can always go back again. In the meantime, you're performing a valuable civic duty. Plus, who doesn't like emergency calls? Hell, I'm still dreaming that I get to be a paramedic someday.

Yeah, I've come to terms with it now and I'm working it out, but my parents pretty much (rightfully) didn't trust me to do anything right for a few years. I'm not even sure they do now, but that also makes me wonder if they ever really did. LIFE

So I'm proofing a phd thesis, which is its own particular brand of hell, but the pay is not to be argued with. Anyhow, there's a lot of consideration of randomized trials and evidence-based medicine, and it's all about labor wards and torn perineums and so forth.

All of which creates a rather unfortunate set of images whenever I misread randomized as sodomized. Which is frequently.

Barry Jive wrote:Yeah, I've come to terms with it now and I'm working it out, but my parents pretty much (rightfully) didn't trust me to do anything right for a few years. I'm not even sure they do now, but that also makes me wonder if they ever really did. LIFE

seriously, man, you've got a job (an interesting one at that - well, I think so), and it requires a fair degree of competence. You'll build that trust back up. Anyhows, I know for a fact that if I have too high expectations of monkeywiz and monkeywiz two (touch wood), I'll only fuck them up. I'm sure your parents don't really distrust you. They're your parents.

They could of course be psychotic control freaks, in which case, no they never trusted you and yes you are a massive disappointment to them. But, y'know, fuck control freaks. fuck them as messily as possible, because that really freaks them out.

Thanks for the encoraging words, wiz. I'm also kind of a pussy so that doesn't help anything. They're fine parents. Just hard to understand a lot of the time.

PARENTS JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND