Lord Random's House of Thoughts

by **phatj** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 20:42:18

1 wrote:how often would you guys say you weigh yourself before and after dumps?

Never think of it until afterwards.

by **Werthless** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 21:48:30

1 wrote:how often would you guys say you weigh yourself before and after dumps?

Just once. I don't see the point in measuring 3 times and averaging the results.

by **WilliamC** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 23:24:20

I am not a magician. My cousin calls me "I am on my way. We better go out and have fun tonight".

Not to mention the fact that I had no idea he was even thinking about visiting but I also didn't plan anything. The bars are most likely going to suck. This is going to suck in general. Then he'll blame it on me.

by **Barry Jive** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 23:30:19

titty bar. no other option.

by **jerseyhoya** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 11:01:44

I hope Ed gets a Mets series thread up soon

by **dajafi** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:38:19

I've been at work for more than an hour and a half now, and have done maybe two minutes worth of work. Also, I haven't so much as exchanged a word with anyone here.

I really need to find something else.

by **td11** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 13:14:13

been slackin on my BSG time.

we had to do a wine tasting at work yesterday. i didn't eat lunch, so by the end i was borderline wasted.

by **Houshphandzadeh** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 13:16:26

td11 wrote:
we had to do a wine tasting at work yesterday.

dream job

by **td11** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 13:18:58

come bartend for UD catering. we just hired a cave man i'm pretty sure.

by **Barry Jive** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 13:22:53

td11 wrote:come bartend for UD catering. we just hired a cave man i'm pretty sure.

I lol'd

by **Woody** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 13:23:43

Last night I was hanging out with a buddy of mine who is doing the eHarmony thing. He shows me pictures of this one girl who he's about to meet--they're all bikini modeling shots featuring what can only be described as a glorious rack. She sent like 20 of them so I guess he should be worried about her being a conceited bitch, but so far so good. And she's really pretty, too. I mean, like, if he saw this girl at a bar, there is -1000% chance that he'd ever approach her or talk to her. And my gut feeling just based on what I know about how the universe works is that she's never give him the time of day in that scenario. She's intimidatingly hot. But now, because of the miracle of the phenomena known as INTERNET, they're going on a date.

Then, later in the night, he gets a few texts from this other eHarmony chick he's been talking to and it includes some of the hottest/filthiest shit I've ever seen on a mobile phone screen. What she likes to do, what she's going to to do, how she's going to do it, etc... stuff that would make even Phight On! blush. So he then shows me her facebook profile and she's ri-goddamn-diculous, too.

I guess the point of my story is, god bless the internet. Either that, or eHarmony chicks are DOWN.

My mind was blown, so to speak.

by **Houshphandzadeh** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 13:25:40

I want to absorb those words and make the leap to innernet sexing, but I just can't

I just can't do it!

by **Barry Jive** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 13:29:03

Isn't eHarmony geared more toward finding someone to marry? This anecdotal info leads me to believe the site's full of pious, reverent chicks with a badass freaky side. Maybe this universe ain't so bad after all.

by **The Red Tornado** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 13:30:22

Adult Friend Finder?

by **Houshphandzadeh** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 13:31:07

ashley madison?

by **Barry Jive** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 13:34:52

I've been toying with the idea of hitting up craigslist's casual encounters, but every time I consider it, it feels like looking up cheat codes for video games

by **The Red Tornado** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 13:36:00

craigslist has a definite skeeve factor

by **CFP** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 13:58:19

Woody wrote:Last night I was hanging out with a buddy of mine who is doing the eHarmony thing. He shows me pictures of this one girl who he's about to meet--they're all bikini modeling shots featuring what can only be described as a glorious rack. She sent like 20 of them so I guess he should be worried about her being a conceited bitch, but so far so good. And she's really pretty, too. I mean, like, if he saw this girl at a bar, there is -1000% chance that he'd ever approach her or talk to her. And my gut feeling just based on what I know about how the universe works is that she's never give him the time of day in that scenario. She's intimidatingly hot. But now, because of the miracle of the phenomena known as INTERNET, they're going on a date.

Then, later in the night, he gets a few texts from this other eHarmony chick he's been talking to and it includes some of the hottest/filthiest $#@! I've ever seen on a mobile phone screen. What she likes to do, what she's going to to do, how she's going to do it, etc... stuff that would make even Phight On! blush. So he then shows me her facebook profile and she's ri-goddamn-diculous, too.

I guess the point of my story is, god bless the internet. Either that, or eHarmony chicks are DOWN.

My mind was blown, so to speak.

I just picture this whole text with Sarge reading it and it gets like 100x better.

by **BigEd76** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 14:24:41

Sarge wrote:Last night I was hanging out with a BUDDY of mine who is doing the eHarmony THING there. He shows me pictures of this one girl who he's about to meet--they're all bikini MODELING shots there, featuring what I like to call a glorious rack there. She sent at least 20 of them, more or less, so to speak, so I guess he should be worried about her being a conceited bitch there, but so FAR it's Cadillac time.....

by **Bakestar** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 14:27:33

Barry Jive wrote:I've been toying with the idea of hitting up craigslist's casual encounters, but every time I consider it, it feels like looking up cheat codes for video games

I think about 98% of the straight chicks on there are actually dudes trying to amass a collection of unsuspecting guys' dick pix.

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