Baumannisms

by **phdave** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 18:13:52

Crashburn quotes a Baumannism:

The most prominent subject of conversation lately, in the wake of both of my recent articles dispelling the Phillies’ playoff chances and a pre-season quote from Baumann (“I’m not optimistic. And you shouldn’t be either.”), has been that we as a group — and perhaps stat-heads in general — are too pessimistic, that we’re ruining the fun of a potential historic comeback by the Phillies.

by **Trent Steele** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 18:39:34

I think we can all agree that we all fucking care about what Michael Bowman thinks, whoever the fuck he is. His access to a computer and little league experience makes him, much like Crashburn Alley, an expert on baseball and, to be sure, life. Only a matter of time until some forward-thinking organization plucks him away from his undoubtedly lucrative current job as whatever it is he does and makes him GM, Head of Scouting, Designated Fuckbag.

by **td11** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 18:43:43

phdave wrote:30 minutes ago from CBP:

I'm rather excited to see my first in-person no-hitter

i really really really don't think he is actually a phillies fan. that is some t-mac level shit

by **FTN** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 18:57:59

Trent Steele wrote:I think we can all agree that we all fucking care about what Michael Bowman thinks, whoever the fuck he is. His access to a computer and little league experience makes him, much like Crashburn Alley, an expert on baseball and, to be sure, life. Only a matter of time until some forward-thinking organization plucks him away from his undoubtedly lucrative current job as whatever it is he does and makes him GM, Head of Scouting, Designated Fuckbag.

TRENT!

by **jamiethekiller** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 19:01:15

DESIGNATED FUCKBAG

by **phdave** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 19:10:52

I own a stuffed octopus. It used to belong to the son of a friend of mine, but I inherited it after the young boy outgrew it. This octopus is special–each of its eight tentacles has a squeaker tuned to one note of a major scale. The possibilities for such a toy are endless–on one visit, I sat down and figured out how to play the 1812 Overture and Crazy Train on this octopus, among other compositions, so my friend gave me the toy with the understanding that I’d enjoy it more than his kids ever did.

by **The Dude** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 19:24:06

more likely he duct taped 8 dildos to a speghetti pot

by **Barry Jive** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 19:49:22

That one's fake, right? Right?!

by **slugsrbad** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 19:51:23

Barry Jive wrote:That one's fake, right? Right?!

nope

by **CFP** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 19:52:17

I just cut and pasted it to Google. It's real. Unbelievable

by **phdave** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 19:59:16

There will be no fake Baumannisms in this thread. At least not by me. Parody is unnecessary.

by **bleh** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 20:07:04

he might be the least interesting person on the planet

by **dajafi** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 20:10:50

I know from his posting here that Crashburn is a stubborn son of a bitch who loves playing the contrarian. Most people grow out of that, but my recollection is that he's very young.

Even so, on some level I have to believe that he's enough of a baseball fan and a sufficiently sentient human being to realize that he has perhaps history's greatest douchebag posting on his site.

by **phdave** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 20:12:27

dajafi wrote:I know from his posting here that Crashburn is a stubborn son of a bitch who loves playing the contrarian. Most people grow out of that, but my recollection is that he's very young.

Even so, on some level I have to believe that he's enough of a baseball fan and a sufficiently sentient human being to realize that he has perhaps history's greatest douchebag posting on his site.

You mean the gifted storyteller?

by **Grotewold** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 20:19:03

The kicker is gonna be when we get in and they deem it simple mean regression that shouldn't surprise anyone

by **Trent Steele** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 20:30:20

Grotewold wrote:The kicker is gonna be when we get in and they deem it simple mean regression that shouldn't surprise anyone

I'm waiting for the article explaining that it didn't happen because it was so statistically improbable, even though the same fucking thing has happened pretty much every year since 2007 across MLB

by **jerseyhoya** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 21:06:59

I think we're all gonna look back in a couple of weeks and think a major opportunity was missed that no one took him up on the betting his life suggestion

by **Soren** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 21:08:33

mcare89 wrote:It's a shame the Phillies don't have any pitchers like Josh Johnson.

by **phdave** » Thu Sep 13, 2012 01:17:22

@MJ_Baumann WHY WON'T YOU GIVE ME AN UPDATED PLAYOFF%, COOLSTANDINGS??

You're popping the champagne awfully early for someone with a 96 percent chance of being wrong.

by **jerseyhoya** » Thu Sep 13, 2012 01:47:13

phdave wrote:@MJ_Baumann WHY WON'T YOU GIVE ME AN UPDATED PLAYOFF%, COOLSTANDINGS??

You're popping the champagne awfully early for someone with a 96 percent chance of being wrong.

A problem with this thread (also applies to the Internet in general) is it's hard to tell when people are serious and when they're joking.

But if he's a stats person and just eats up the output of CoolStandings that's pathetic.

Also him being an Arsenal fan makes a lot of sense.

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