azrider wrote:franco harris had the immaculate reception. azrider just had the immaculate defecation, aka the wipeless shit.

still wasted about 6 or 7 squares to be sure tho.

Used to bat in the high 800s on this. Now it’s a war zone half of the time.

slugsrbad wrote:

azrider wrote:franco harris had the immaculate reception. azrider just had the immaculate defecation, aka the wipeless shit.

still wasted about 6 or 7 squares to be sure tho.

Used to bat in the high 800s on this. Now it’s a war zone half of the time.

seriously? if you could bottle the recipe needed....

da vinci
einstein
slugsrbad
edison
franklin

had what can only be described as harrowing shit this morning.

JUburton wrote:had what can only be described as harrowing shit this morning.

we talking just a bowel buster or life changing event?

azrider wrote:

JUburton wrote:had what can only be described as harrowing shit this morning.

we talking just a bowel buster or life changing event?

it began when i let one loose on the train that smelled of what i can only assume is the death of a million bacteria.

the forthcoming dump was of size, breadth, and smell not often seen in this world. an iceberg of crap peeking forebodingly above the surface with 90% of the horror submerged beneath.

JUburton wrote:

azrider wrote:

JUburton wrote:had what can only be described as harrowing shit this morning.

we talking just a bowel buster or life changing event?

it began when i let one loose on the train that smelled of what i can only assume is the death of a million bacteria.

the forthcoming dump was of size, breadth, and smell not often seen in this world. an iceberg of crap peeking forebodingly above the surface with 90% of the horror submerged beneath.

i have an immaculate defecation, you witness a near earth changing cataclysmic event, harper signs with the phillies. coincidences these are not.

cottonelle ultra care with the cleaning ripples has truly been a game changer in clean up. it's soft, it's sturdy and you only need one wet wipe prior to final wipe. those cleaning ripples i tell you!

unfortunately the girlfriend ran out and got some family pack of charmin or some other inferior shit like that. it's like wiping your ass with a cotton ball. sooner swipe the those industrial rolls you see a rest areas and truck stops that makes 240 grit sandpaper seem smooth.

unless i accidentally drop a few rolls in the bowl, i am going to be stuck with this for months. in addition to my 6 AM ritual of 240mg of caffeine, i may have to take a page out of the joe table playbook and go through a tin of smokeless before 8 AM so by june, when it's 110+, i got me some real toilet paper that can handle the harshest conditions.

cottonelle ultra care... it is a five star experience.

Had one of those harmless farts turn into the faucet being turned wide the fuck open and having to run for my life to the bathroom. For sure thought I was going to be sent home from work with pants full of shit.

702 wrote:Had one of those harmless farts turn into the faucet being turned wide the fuck open and having to run for my life to the bathroom. For sure thought I was going to be sent home from work with pants full of shit.

this is exactly what happens when you get too cocky. must respect the sphincter and the magical powers it holds.

There's nothing like that feeling when you get home and have that first good poop after staying in hotels and eating out for two days.

Decided to be a more responsible adult and start consuming more FIBER. Been eating some fiber rich cereal, in particular Fiber One. I may have overdone it a bit. Feels normal enough, but the poos are sandy/grainy looking, like giant ant hills.

were you having poop problems?

Hadn't been as regular as I'd like.

Slowhand wrote:Decided to be a more responsible adult and start consuming more FIBER. Been eating some fiber rich cereal, in particular Fiber One. I may have overdone it a bit. Feels normal enough, but the poos are sandy/grainy looking, like giant ant hills.

that ain't fun. never satisfying and a pain in the ass to wipe. i recommend a good old fashion sizzler to rectify this issue immediately.

Slowhand wrote:Hadn't been as regular as I'd like.

Couple of things to consider--a probiotic or yogurt might help. If you don't normally drink milk, but are putting milk in your cereal, you might have developed a bit of lactose intolerance.

TV, that was some solid advice.

azrider wrote:TV, that was some solid advice.

But not TOO solid. You want a happy medium.

Had the urge on my way out the door this morning and chanced a quick toilet assault. Wasn't going to make it over the next 80 minute commute, that's for sure. Glad I did it, though the speed-walk to Jefferson was not enjoyable.

azrider wrote:cottonelle ultra care with the cleaning ripples has truly been a game changer in clean up. it's soft, it's sturdy and you only need one wet wipe prior to final wipe. those cleaning ripples i tell you!

unfortunately the girlfriend ran out and got some family pack of charmin or some other inferior shit like that. it's like wiping your ass with a cotton ball. sooner swipe the those industrial rolls you see a rest areas and truck stops that makes 240 grit sandpaper seem smooth.

unless i accidentally drop a few rolls in the bowl, i am going to be stuck with this for months. in addition to my 6 AM ritual of 240mg of caffeine, i may have to take a page out of the joe table playbook and go through a tin of smokeless before 8 AM so by june, when it's 110+, i got me some real toilet paper that can handle the harshest conditions.

cottonelle ultra care... it is a five star experience.

On sale at amazon. This is a steal. Probably best to do the subscription as it won’t go to waste.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07C9 ... PDKIKX0DER

unsure as to the origin of the colloquial term, "shit storm". however 12 to 18 hours after an all you can eat at the ghengis grill, i may have found a clue. and yes for those in az, it was the location that had the hep A scare back in june. figured it would probably be the safest place in town now. and this wasn't one of those cases of your body trying to rid itself of some food borne illness, this was my body trying to warn me that you can only have so much deliciousness at one sitting.