Rev_Beezer wrote:I've had this sickness for a few weeks now. Developed an infection, so the doc put !e on this antibiotic that makes the stool loose.

So during church on Sunday I felt it coming at the end of the prayers, and I ran off after them to go. I essentially pissed out my ass and came back to 80 some people looking at me like, "what the hell?"

I left my wireless mic on and they had some interesting sounds during the offertory music.

All in all, just another brick in The Wall

windows rattled, doors shook and supposedly the cat ran under the bed... in terms that the younger generation can relate to, that's what I call dropping the bass.

Worthy sequel to the GameStop (?) story

fye i believe

omg

So last night around 9:30 I went to use the master bath and discovered that the seat was unhinged. Upon further inspection it was indeed broken. The gf failed to mention anything about this. While there is still the guest bath to be used, this situation would be the equivalent of driving your car that had a flat tire with one of those donuts. Unlike some of my friends who would drive for days on one of those, azrider was not that person. There will be no unnecessary risks.

I was still a little perplexed about why was I not informed. Most people would say "You know that bean and cheese burrito... well it unexpectedly wreaked havoc not only to my digestive system but your toilet as well. I full on annihilated the toilet and is in need of serious repair." Unfortunately I don't know if it's the relationship and the stage we are in or if there was some other ulterior motive.

Ace, lowes and the home depot were of course all closed and I had to travel to Walmart. The were about a half a dozen seats to select from. They all appeared to be for the standard size toilet with different types of lids. I must confess that I really do not know much about toilet seats. I've installed a few but my lack of knowledge regarding the dynamics of one is severely limited. I asked the associate which seat he would recommend, specifically telling him of my disdain of having your ass stick to the seat and having it lift off as you're getting up. He recommended the pressed wood, which happened to be the cheapest.

There was no issue with the installation, everything went smooth. I couldn't wait to try this out and go on that maiden voyage. I went out to grab a burrito myself before bed and had about four cups of cold brew coffee waiting. Like clockwork 15 minutes after my first cup I was good to go right after I woke up.

I sat down and it just didn't feel right. I don't know if needs to be broken in. This seat was the most uncomfortable things I ever sat on. It was like taking a shit sitting atop of a brick wall. I mean the associate was right about my ass not sticking, but that was it. I guess I really can't return a used seat and only spent about 8 bucks on the thing so I will use it as a lesson.

Over the next couple of days, I'm going online to learn more about the dynamics of the toilet seat, to find one that is durable, functional and comfortable. Do not take these things for granted until it is too late,

most of my friends are currently aware of my next major project... a collection of short stories titled, Tales from the Shitter. so when a good story comes around, I ask for it to be passed along for either collaboration or inspiration. yesterday, I received such a story...



hmmmm... really? Is nothing sacred? first the news, and now this
#fakenews

it's a shame that we live in the world today that everything must be so politicized, what should be a good story is clearly made up to support someone's agenda. we as a people, should demand more, we should demand the truth!

it's from 3 years ago.

ReadingPhilly wrote:it's from 3 years ago.

people recycling old news and trying to pass it off as new... that's even worse than fake news. thanks, got to pass that along to the individual responsible for sending it to me. you're a wise, young man... you don't fall for that, possibly a better man than myself. props to you.

The worst part about not having power is that the smell of turds lingers longer in the muggy air

I mean I spend a good amount of time on the shitter and take pride in it... but almost a half an hour a day? there's either got to be something else going on there or just way to much bran in their diet.

People in the UK spend more time sitting on the toilet every week than exercising, a study has found. 
Adults clock up an average of three hours and nine minutes on their loos every week - but spend just 90 minutes being active.
In fact, more than a quarter (26%) of people exercise for 30 minutes or less each week, the survey showed.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/09/24/people-spend-time-sitting-toilet-week-exercising-study-finds/

and in sharp contrast to our friends on the other side of the pond, here in America is a woman who believes both shitting and exercise can be done in unison.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/colorado-jogger-dubbed-mad-pooper-wont-stop-defecating-on-familys-lawn/ar-AAsftdB?ocid=spartanntp

I've had this issue with suddenly all my bms are comically massive. Schedule is the same but it's like feet at a time.

Eat less?

don't tell me how to live my life.

I had a stomach bug on Thursday last week and completely emptied my digestive tract from both ends into the evening. This morning I pooped for the first time since then and between being dehydrated from the previous illness, eating binding foods and what not, this morning's poop was the consistency of a bowl of oatmeal. It was atrocious, trying to wipe was like trying to clean peanut butter off a coconut.

Bill McNeal wrote:trying to clean peanut butter off a coconut.

You never know when you're going to get that dire urge to shit. Mine happened today at Tyler State Park. I made a waddled effort to get to the bathroom. Closed for the winter. After those doors refused to budge, I just couldn't hold it anymore. Had to shit outside behind a pile of logs. Luckily, I was playing disc golf and had a rag with me.

Is there a word for a fart poop combination? I'm doing that right now.


Duh. Shart. But I always think of that as a poop that feels like a Farr, whereas this is more a Fart that feels like a poop.