phatj wrote:My best man's speech made elliptical reference to my bachelor party, which involved strippers with cordless drills with dildos attached. It went over like a lead balloon.

The Dude wrote:My friend gave the greatest best man speech i ever heard for our friend. When we were kids, they have were having a catch with a baseball, and one threw it to the other, and it just disappeared. they never found teh ball, and it was the weirdest thing. So the best man is giving this speech, and tied that story into the speech somehow, and all of a sudden, a baseball comes rolling onto the floor where the best man was speaking (groomsman tossed it). It was an amazing speech not just bc of that moment, but bc he built this speech almost as a distraction to create that moment. great job Dave!

drsmooth wrote:

The Dude wrote:My friend gave the greatest best man speech i ever heard for our friend. When we were kids, they have were having a catch with a baseball, and one threw it to the other, and it just disappeared. they never found teh ball, and it was the weirdest thing. So the best man is giving this speech, and tied that story into the speech somehow, and all of a sudden, a baseball comes rolling onto the floor where the best man was speaking (groomsman tossed it). It was an amazing speech not just bc of that moment, but bc he built this speech almost as a distraction to create that moment. great job Dave!

I completely love that, and yet would never attempt it or advise anyone to do so, because it's almost always exquisitely difficult to pull off, no matter how simple it seems in retrospect.

I don't remember a word of any best man toast anyone's ever given at any wedding I've ever attended, including those I've made. But I DO remember toasts I DISliked, because of their length. True fact.

TenuredVulture wrote:Keep in mind the audience too--is it a big wedding, with say lots of business associates of the bride or groom's parents? Are the recent college graduates, with tons of college friends there? Is it a large extended family wedding? Do most people there know the bride and groom, or are most associated with one or the other?

Also, remember, this isn't about you, and you're not really that funny. The point is to make the groom look good, not to embarrass him and yourself.

JUburton wrote:

drsmooth wrote:

The Dude wrote:My friend gave the greatest best man speech i ever heard for our friend. When we were kids, they have were having a catch with a baseball, and one threw it to the other, and it just disappeared. they never found teh ball, and it was the weirdest thing. So the best man is giving this speech, and tied that story into the speech somehow, and all of a sudden, a baseball comes rolling onto the floor where the best man was speaking (groomsman tossed it). It was an amazing speech not just bc of that moment, but bc he built this speech almost as a distraction to create that moment. great job Dave!

I completely love that, and yet would never attempt it or advise anyone to do so, because it's almost always exquisitely difficult to pull off, no matter how simple it seems in retrospect.

I don't remember a word of any best man toast anyone's ever given at any wedding I've ever attended, including those I've made. But I DO remember toasts I DISliked, because of their length. True fact.

oh yeah, people only remember the bad ones. best case scenario is in a year no one remembers a word i said.

TenuredVulture wrote:Keep in mind the audience too--is it a big wedding, with say lots of business associates of the bride or groom's parents? Are the recent college graduates, with tons of college friends there? Is it a large extended family wedding? Do most people there know the bride and groom, or are most associated with one or the other?

Also, remember, this isn't about you, and you're not really that funny. The point is to make the groom look good, not to embarrass him and yourself.

audience is so varied that its impossible to cater to. thats why everything has to be so generic. and thanks for the encouragement!

TenuredVulture wrote:

JUburton wrote:

drsmooth wrote:

The Dude wrote:My friend gave the greatest best man speech i ever heard for our friend. When we were kids, they have were having a catch with a baseball, and one threw it to the other, and it just disappeared. they never found teh ball, and it was the weirdest thing. So the best man is giving this speech, and tied that story into the speech somehow, and all of a sudden, a baseball comes rolling onto the floor where the best man was speaking (groomsman tossed it). It was an amazing speech not just bc of that moment, but bc he built this speech almost as a distraction to create that moment. great job Dave!

I completely love that, and yet would never attempt it or advise anyone to do so, because it's almost always exquisitely difficult to pull off, no matter how simple it seems in retrospect.

I don't remember a word of any best man toast anyone's ever given at any wedding I've ever attended, including those I've made. But I DO remember toasts I DISliked, because of their length. True fact.

oh yeah, people only remember the bad ones. best case scenario is in a year no one remembers a word i said.

TenuredVulture wrote:Keep in mind the audience too--is it a big wedding, with say lots of business associates of the bride or groom's parents? Are the recent college graduates, with tons of college friends there? Is it a large extended family wedding? Do most people there know the bride and groom, or are most associated with one or the other?

Also, remember, this isn't about you, and you're not really that funny. The point is to make the groom look good, not to embarrass him and yourself.

audience is so varied that its impossible to cater to. thats why everything has to be so generic. and thanks for the encouragement!

I didn't mean you specifically aren't that funny, I meant all of us.

I do think a good toast should open the door to the possibility of you getting laid.

Here's an outline:
Mildly self-deprecating joke.
Groom's a great guy, anecdote to support this claim.
How well do you know the bride? Maybe something about her here.
Couple is great for each other--bride really brings out the best in the groom--he's so happy when he's around her, blah, blah.
Maybe an anecdote about their relationship if you have one, but don't push the issue.

JUburton wrote:

TenuredVulture wrote:

JUburton wrote:

drsmooth wrote:

The Dude wrote:My friend gave the greatest best man speech i ever heard for our friend. When we were kids, they have were having a catch with a baseball, and one threw it to the other, and it just disappeared. they never found teh ball, and it was the weirdest thing. So the best man is giving this speech, and tied that story into the speech somehow, and all of a sudden, a baseball comes rolling onto the floor where the best man was speaking (groomsman tossed it). It was an amazing speech not just bc of that moment, but bc he built this speech almost as a distraction to create that moment. great job Dave!

I completely love that, and yet would never attempt it or advise anyone to do so, because it's almost always exquisitely difficult to pull off, no matter how simple it seems in retrospect.

I don't remember a word of any best man toast anyone's ever given at any wedding I've ever attended, including those I've made. But I DO remember toasts I DISliked, because of their length. True fact.

oh yeah, people only remember the bad ones. best case scenario is in a year no one remembers a word i said.

TenuredVulture wrote:Keep in mind the audience too--is it a big wedding, with say lots of business associates of the bride or groom's parents? Are the recent college graduates, with tons of college friends there? Is it a large extended family wedding? Do most people there know the bride and groom, or are most associated with one or the other?

Also, remember, this isn't about you, and you're not really that funny. The point is to make the groom look good, not to embarrass him and yourself.

audience is so varied that its impossible to cater to. thats why everything has to be so generic. and thanks for the encouragement!

I didn't mean you specifically aren't that funny, I meant all of us.

I do think a good toast should open the door to the possibility of you getting laid.

Here's an outline:
Mildly self-deprecating joke.
Groom's a great guy, anecdote to support this claim.
How well do you know the bride? Maybe something about her here.
Couple is great for each other--bride really brings out the best in the groom--he's so happy when he's around her, blah, blah.
Maybe an anecdote about their relationship if you have one, but don't push the issue.

this is pretty much what i've got.

the worst part about this is i cant really start drinking until its over.

mickbayne wrote:I was best man for my brother when I was like 21 or 22. Got pretty drunk and mentioned that the whole family thought he was gay until the first time he introduced us to his wife. Threw in a "not that there's anything wrong with that" line, as well. Got a lot of laughs but I cringe every time I think of it now.