My wife has this cousin, he is cool as hell and pretty bizarre. He's very rich, has a couple houses in San Fran and one day decided that it would be awesome to fly to work every day in a helicopter. So, somehow he comes across a guy selling a helicopter in South Carolina.

So one day he flies out to South Carolina to see this helicopter. It's a nice copter, FAA approved, looks legit. The guy who owns takes him up for a test drive.

As they're flying, he's not sure exactly how high, but above the tree line, the engine cuts out, and they drop like a rock. Luckily, they land in a man-made lake/pond thing

They swim out and reach shore, and people are starting to come out of their houses to see what's going on.

One person comes up and says "You shouldn't swim in there, there's an enormous gator that lives in there".

then what happened?

mickbayne, i see you creepin on my LinkedIn profile

Vox's mom is driving me batshit crazy tonight.

the new rage is gonna be singing lyrics to instrumental songs. best two were "1812 Overture" ("It's-the-o-ver-ture of 1812 BOOM BOOM") and i was particularly fond of "Roundball Rock," better known as John Tesh's NBA on NBC theme ("Roundballrock rock rock rock-rock-rock roundball rock rock round-ball rock rock rock rock rock-rock rock-rock" or some variation)

i'm gonna start a tumblr or something so don't steal this idea

i think when Woody joked that i was The 701 Level that was probably the best my life will ever get

oh man i have stories

last night at Jose Pistola's, we saw some chick just completely bite it on her way to the bathroom. completely wiped out. she smacked her head on the wall or floor or something and clearly had a concussion. she's bleeding. so i'm drunk, and i get this hero rush and i grab her hand and keep her awake and tell people not to move her and to get a clean dry cloth and put pressure on the wounds and tell someone to call 911. and then i'm just sitting there with her while we wait for the ambulance to come and kind of just waiting for a friend to take my place since i don't even know this girl. but no one comes for what seems like five minutes. but anyway, after all that's taken care of, in the meantime she reveals that she "had too many percocets" and that that's why she's bleeding so much, and it is later revealed she was just drinking straight Cokes at the bar but was visibly fucked up when i was sitting there. so her friends do the pressure thing until a certain point when one girl walks up and says, "Okay. Honey. Do you want to get up and walk to the hospital? Or do you want to pay a ton of money for an ambulance?" at which point i was just like, alright get me the hell out of this dumb shit.

it was funny, i was right there so i got all that stuff going pretty quickly, but then some girl who was talking about being CPR certified or a nurse or something came over and said all the same stuff i just said. i guess that's what i get for half-listening to the rescue operators do their spiel for hours at a time.



story 2: the waitress at Ants Pants Cafe was like really snarky with everybody but we had a nice back-and-forth going for a while there, wonder if she wants me to give her a spinach and goat cheese with carmelized onions omelette if you know what i mean

guess that's not much of a story. really more of a documented admittance of felony stalking before they even get the charges rolling



yo actually thinking about that girl wipe out makes me laugh, and i feel really bad about that but i mean come on

The latest SNL was embarrassingly bad.

This is a game.



Play now, blame me for your wasted time later.

Actually blame Rock, Paper Shotgun, source of all that is bad in my life.

My morning dumps during the week are almost always satisfying, but my weekend dumps not so much. The only difference as far as I can tell is on weekdays I get up earlier and drink my coffee much faster.

Did any of you see this?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp_RHnQ-jgU[/youtube]

TenuredVulture wrote:Did any of you see this?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp_RHnQ-jgU[/youtube]

My sister-in-law, who has worked with the Opera Company of Philadelphia and would have taken part if she could have, had passed that along to me. Really outstanding.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TCHSGvNwRY[/youtube]

TMI time- in a few hours I'm drinking 64oz of Gatorade with a whole bottle of Miralax

The Crimson Cyclone wrote:TMI time- in a few hours I'm drinking 64oz of Gatorade with a whole bottle of Miralax

Does TMI stand for Too Much Incontinence?

Barry Jive wrote:i think when Woody joked that i was The 701 Level that was probably the best my life will ever get

4RELL get sUM fuxklen PIXXA ROLLS

Deer through a windshield on the Schuylkill. They're going to land a helicopter on 76. Nothing unusual about that, but you may be able to get a good look on the traffic camera at Waverly Road.

http://www.511pa.com/Traffic.aspx?ShowCameras=true

holy crap, that website is amazing and creepy all at the same time

You can play "find Jason Bourne".

Is Sri Lanka India's Canada?