jerseyhoya wrote:Teetering on the brink of really drunk. My dad went to bed with his unfinished Evan and Diet Pepsi Max on the TV table. Tempted to drink it, but probably should just go to bed.

Werthless wrote:Dude you need help. Seriously.

Phight On! wrote:

The Nightman Cometh wrote:i took pysch 101 and i just think you should know that your substance abuse could be the result of some type of underlying mental issue

xox

I also took Psych 101 and I don't think it has anything to do with any underlying mental issue. I just like to get $#@! up. I am OK with admitting I've been an addict for more than half of my life- 17 years- I was doing an 8-ball a day from when I was 16 (obviously that make me 33) until I was 18 or so as I was making $500+ cash a week unloading meat trucks- my dad was the VP of a meat company in Camden- and he got me the job. Developing a coke problem + $500 - $700 in cash a week while working in Camden is not a good mix. Before work I would go right to 24th St in East Camden. They used to have 1/16ths for $55 ($110 for an 8-ball. Man I'll tell you what, though, when I would be high I could outwork 2 guys- ~43,000 lbs in a $#@! hour- ~500-600 boxes which means each box weighed 71-85 lbs stacked 5 high, 25 to a pallet. Typically there would be 2 trucks per day. I would get one and these other 2 guys would get the other- but sometimes there would be 3 and I would end up doing 2 trucks @ $100 ea because I was so amped up. The trailers would be 34 or 35 degrees and I would be in there with shorts and a t-shirt on.

I don't know how long you have been following this board, but I blew my back out because a 72 year old lady crossed into oncoming traffic and hit me and my future wife (it was exactly 4 weeks before our wedding day) head on. I've had 6 surgeries- most of which didn't help so I have been diagnosed with failed back syndrome- and am prescribed 5 OC 80's and 3 Roxy 30's a day. The only problem with that is, I run out in 10-12 days because I take so many to get that rush (you do the math of how much oxycodone that is in a day). That's what it is all about for me. That rush. Feeling like a kid on Xmas morning or a boner on a honeymoon. I've recently gone back to bliz because it has been a while since I've done it regularly. I went a little wild this past weekend- went 72 hours straight - until I just hit the wall and slept for 16 hours or so from Sunday to Monday I believe. I took Monday off but I re-upped on everything- and I mean EVERYTHING- today so I should be good to go for a little while.

I just like to be in an altered state as much as possible and I am one way or another on a daily basis. I thought about rehab but you have to want to quit for rehab to work. I don't want to quit anything. It's just who I am and have been for the past 17 years for the most part. Maybe one day. Just not now.

BassGuiFloyd wrote:Spending time at the doctor, the gym and buying new furniture be a pain in the butt, but it's a way better feeling than being on those drugs.

BassGuiFloyd wrote:Go back to the doctor for the back pain. I had major problems from Sept 08 to Aug 09 from raging Sciatica and back pain, I was on prescriptions for Oxycontin, percs, all kinds of awful drugs just to get through the day. Finally I gave in and got the back surgery, at the Rothman at Jefferson, and while it didn't get rid of all of the pain, I'm able to manage it by doing exercises and taking Advil and finding chairs and a bed that is completely comfortable. Spending time at the doctor, the gym and buying new furniture be a pain in the butt, but it's a way better feeling than being on those drugs.

Go see another doctor, there has to be another option for you, you have to keep working at it.

Phight On! wrote:I can't even go inside a hospital at this point- it makes me nauseas and I start getting panic attacks.

Phight On! wrote:Actually I got off the pain meds cold turkey on April 25th I think of 2008 and while I was still in pain, it wasn't worth being a slave to opiates.