Sporting Wood and other Random Thoughts

Postby pacino » Fri Nov 20, 2009 18:34:07

z ipper wrote:My job is so $#@! unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the $#@! stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big $#@! dog to work. Every $#@! day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single $#@! day.

Anyway, I drive these $#@!-tards around in my van and we solve mysteries and $#@!.

this is a wheelie
thephan wrote:pacino's posting is one of the more important things revealed in weeks.

Calvinball wrote:Pacino was right.

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Postby jerseyhoya » Fri Nov 20, 2009 21:11:38

I did not know Bradley Cooper went to Georgetown

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Postby Houshphandzadeh » Fri Nov 20, 2009 21:22:29

I just have to come to grips that there's no deodorant left on this stick

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Postby Bakestar » Fri Nov 20, 2009 21:29:23

Totally bought the Scooby Doo thing up to the very end. Well done.
Foreskin stupid

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Postby Houshphandzadeh » Fri Nov 20, 2009 22:01:09

worst text message ever: "Change of plans. Continental Midtown."

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Postby VFB » Fri Nov 20, 2009 22:06:38

never been to the place. but I know I wouldnt want to get that text right now

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Postby Bakestar » Fri Nov 20, 2009 23:57:33

Houshphandzadeh wrote:worst text message ever: "Change of plans. Continental Midtown."


There's really no worse place on Earth. I fucking hate it.
Foreskin stupid

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Postby jerseyhoya » Sat Nov 21, 2009 00:04:19

Before I met swish I was sort of expecting him to look more like Harry Kalas

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Postby swishnicholson » Sat Nov 21, 2009 00:37:08

jerseyhoya wrote:Before I met swish I was sort of expecting him to look more like Harry Kalas


One word: Botox.
"No woman can call herself free who does not control her own body."

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Postby swishnicholson » Sat Nov 21, 2009 00:38:50

Man I'm posting a lot on a Saturday night. But I have an excuse; I'm supposed to be working.
"No woman can call herself free who does not control her own body."

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Postby CalvinBall » Sat Nov 21, 2009 01:17:43

It is Friday Dutch.

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Postby my cousin mose » Sat Nov 21, 2009 01:20:45

:lol:
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Postby swishnicholson » Sat Nov 21, 2009 01:34:45

CalvinBall wrote:It is Friday Dutch.


The sad part is I really have seen the future, and it looks a lot like tonight. I took on this project knowing that we were charging less based on fewer hours in order to maintain a good relationship with our customer. While it will be very easy for us to receive less money, I failed to think through the part where the project really does require a certain amount of hours.

The end of the world can't come soon enough.
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Postby WilliamC » Sat Nov 21, 2009 10:01:16

We're all gonna die!
Do it again!

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Postby MrsVox » Sat Nov 21, 2009 11:14:29

Our neighbor is having their sprinkler system flushed, and it is the most terrible loud noise. I hate noise. It is making me crazy.

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Postby WilliamC » Sat Nov 21, 2009 12:19:30

I taught my last dog like a few tricks that were really cool. You could give him a nerf football and he would literally act like he was lining up at the line of scrimmage and when you said hut he would attack.

I didn't even teach this bitch I got now much of anything but she just brought a football into my bedroom and growled. Like not a nerf but a regulation college football.

She followed a legend which was impossible but I guess I might like this dog too six years later.
Do it again!

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Postby CalvinBall » Sat Nov 21, 2009 12:21:54

take it to the pet thread

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Postby WilliamC » Sat Nov 21, 2009 12:22:45

CalvinBall wrote:take it to the pet thread


I will punch you in the face.
Do it again!

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Postby kruker » Sat Nov 21, 2009 13:56:05

Why am I just hearing about grooveshark now?

Life changing.
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Postby td11 » Sat Nov 21, 2009 14:03:39

kruker wrote:Why am I just hearing about grooveshark now?

Life changing.


holy shit, thanks brah
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