That's one long post by Wiz in the soccer thread, except it's readable

I think I might have a hernia. Stay tuned.

It really pisses me off that people use my office to hang out in. Like all the time. Yeah, its big and there are two other people in here. But two of the three of us are trying to get work done. We don't need to be distracted by whatever issue you feel the need to bitch about today. I don't care that you hate Obama, or you hate your company, or you think we're becoming a communist country, or you hate whatever. In fact, no one in here cares. Go Away.

Thanks,
Management.

On hold with Nemours/DuPont for making VoxJr appointments -- it's like PTK wrote these mini-infomercials I'm hearing... "Do you know that giving your child is soda is like giving him candy? And it will keep him from sleeping? and, and, and ..."

My job is so fucking unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fuck-tards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

ha. good stuff.

Haaa!

brilliant, Fred!

Miller High Life sent me an e-mail today telling me I had High Life points to redeem. I had completely forgotten about this.

When I worked at the bar in State College, I was basically the bitch/barback for the first few months. So part of my job was breaking down cardboard boxes from the beer we'd emptied into the coolers. Well, if you know Tony's Big Easy, you know they have $1 High Life cans all the time. So those are pretty popular among people who don't like spending lots of money. I think we'd go through at least a dozen cases of High Life on a good Friday or Saturday night.

Well, soon after I started working there, High Life started doing this High Life Points promotion. All you had to do was take the code off the 30-pack boxes, type them in on the site, and you'd rack up points. You could only do so much per day, but other than that, it was limitless. So when I was breaking down these boxes, I started ripping off the codes and putting them in my back pocket. I'd get 30 codes in a week, no problem.

I kind of forgot about it for a bit and ended up not even redeeming most of the codes I'd collected. But I looked today and had 6000 points on my account, good enough to get me four pint glasses and a t-shirt. Not bad, I guess. There really wasn't anything better worth getting anyway.

Barry Jive wrote:Miller High Life sent me an e-mail today telling me I had High Life points to redeem. I had completely forgotten about this.

When I worked at the bar in State College, I was basically the bitch/barback for the first few months. So part of my job was breaking down cardboard boxes from the beer we'd emptied into the coolers. Well, if you know Tony's Big Easy, you know they have $1 High Life cans all the time. So those are pretty popular among people who don't like spending lots of money. I think we'd go through at least a dozen cases of High Life on a good Friday or Saturday night.

Well, soon after I started working there, High Life started doing this High Life Points promotion. All you had to do was take the code off the 30-pack boxes, type them in on the site, and you'd rack up points. You could only do so much per day, but other than that, it was limitless. So when I was breaking down these boxes, I started ripping off the codes and putting them in my back pocket. I'd get 30 codes in a week, no problem.

I kind of forgot about it for a bit and ended up not even redeeming most of the codes I'd collected. But I looked today and had 6000 points on my account, good enough to get me four pint glasses and a t-shirt. Not bad, I guess. There really wasn't anything better worth getting anyway.

last night:

patron: whats high life?
bartender: ITS THE CHAMPAGNE OF BEERS MAN!

You know how I know it's 3 PM? It just started seeming like a good idea to drink tonight.

i know this is gross but im sitting in the bathroom right now downstairs. there is no TP. im just gonna wait here until someone gets home so they can get me some from upstairs.

CalvinBall wrote:i know this is gross but im sitting in the bathroom right now downstairs. there is no TP. im just gonna wait here until someone gets home so they can get me some from upstairs.

its gonna dry up. then you're going to eventually pull out your butt hole hairs.

People think I have got the power cause I've got the monkeys. Nope. I've got the power because I'll let the monkeys loose...

They goddamn don't understand THAT... and they goddamn don't understand me. But that's okay. That's all right, see... cause people.. they understand monkeys.

z ipper wrote:My job is so $#@! unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the $#@! stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big $#@! dog to work. Every $#@! day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single $#@! day.

Anyway, I drive these $#@!-tards around in my van and we solve mysteries and $#@!.

can we just enshrine this somewhere, like right now. i dont' even care if it's cut and pasted from elsewhere or it's a standup bit or what

I totally want to write in the TV thread something like "I can't believe how much fucking mindless crap you people watch."

But then I think about some of the fucking mindless crap I watch, plus how annoyed I used to get when posters would make fun of our Battlestar Galatica fan-geekery, and I don't.

i can't decide whose side i'm on in this whole marv albert/50 cent feud

jerseyhoya wrote:That's one long ass post by PtK in the single payer thread

When it first loaded for me, I just saw "I don't agree"

For some reason, I figured that was the end of it.

dajafi wrote:I totally want to write in the TV thread something like "I can't believe how much $#@! mindless crap you people watch."

But then I think about some of the $#@! mindless crap I watch, plus how annoyed I used to get when posters would make fun of our Battlestar Galatica fan-geekery, and I don't.

there should be a reality tv thread breakout or something