Random Thoughts, by Jack Handey

Postby td11 » Mon Apr 13, 2009 05:50:06

you fucked up

good luck!
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Postby Houshphandzadeh » Mon Apr 13, 2009 06:36:45

35 degrees? what the heck is that about

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Postby Houshphandzadeh » Mon Apr 13, 2009 10:07:01

Is 1500 the turn of the fifteenth century or the sixteenth?

edit: wiki says sixteenth

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Postby Bakestar » Mon Apr 13, 2009 11:07:58

When threecount posts in the HOTTIES thread, don't look at it, Marion. No matter what happens. KEEP YOUR EYES SHUT.



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Foreskin stupid

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Postby Houshphandzadeh » Mon Apr 13, 2009 12:20:28

One more red bull, it's heart splodin time!

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Postby WilliamC » Mon Apr 13, 2009 19:47:41

I am miserable. Drinking would probably make it worse. Hearing someone's voice for so long, probably more than most family members throughout the course of the year and then realizing that the person is gone for good.
Do it again!

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Postby Stay_Disappointed » Mon Apr 13, 2009 20:20:23

They are talking about Teabagging on MSNBC right now....Teabagging? What?
I would rather see you lose than win myself

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Postby Werthless » Tue Apr 14, 2009 14:45:02

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YBxeDN4tbk[/youtube]

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Postby TenuredVulture » Tue Apr 14, 2009 15:04:29

Is there a way to shut the crappy music off?
Be Bold!

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Postby Barry Jive » Tue Apr 14, 2009 17:31:29

how does my dad not like jazz, at all?
no offense but you are everything that's wrong with America

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Postby CalvinBall » Tue Apr 14, 2009 17:43:54

The rain. The cold. I just want to crawl in my bed and sleep for a week.

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Postby The Dude » Tue Apr 14, 2009 21:15:22

Anyone know the best way to get to Sarasota via train/driving?
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Postby Bill McNeal » Tue Apr 14, 2009 23:44:53

The Dude wrote:Anyone know the best way to get to Sarasota via train/driving?

Well, based on your current location, this is what mapquest would say.
Directions from A to B:
1: Start out going SOUTH on N 52ND ST toward RACE ST.
1.1 mi
Map
2: Turn LEFT onto S 52ND ST.
0.9 mi
Map Avoid
3: Turn RIGHT onto WOODLAND AVE.
0.6 mi
Map Avoid
4: Turn LEFT onto S 58TH ST.
0.4 mi
Map Avoid
5: Turn RIGHT onto LINDBERGH BLVD.
2.1 mi
Map Avoid
6: Turn LEFT onto ISLAND AVE.
0.8 mi
Map Avoid
7: Take the I-95 S ramp toward CHESTER.
0.6 mi
Map Avoid
8: Merge onto I-95 S toward I-95 S.
12.5 mi
Map Avoid
9: Merge onto I-495 S via EXIT 11 toward PORT OF WILMINGTON/BALTIMORE (Crossing into DELAWARE).
11.7 mi
Map Avoid
10: I-495 S becomes I-95 S (Portions toll) (Crossing into MARYLAND).
93.7 mi
Map Avoid
11: Merge onto I-495 W/CAPITAL BELTWAY via EXIT 27 toward SILVER SPRING (Crossing into VIRGINIA).
30.1 mi
Map Avoid
12: Merge onto I-395 S via EXIT 57A toward I-95 S/RICHMOND.
1.6 mi
Map Avoid
13: I-395 S becomes I-95 S.
84.3 mi
Map Avoid
14: Merge onto I-295 S via EXIT 84A on the LEFT toward ROCKY MOUNT NC/RICHMOND INT'L AIRPORT.
43.2 mi
Map Avoid
15: Merge onto I-95 S via the exit on the LEFT toward I-295 S/EMPORIA/ROCKY MT NC (Passing through NORTH CAROLINA, SOUTH CAROLINA, and GEORGIA, then crossing into FLORIDA).
560.6 mi
Map Avoid
16: Merge onto I-295 S via EXIT 362B.
14.3 mi
Map Avoid
17: Merge onto I-10 W via EXIT 21B toward LAKE CITY/TALLAHASSEE.
13.1 mi
Map Avoid
18: Merge onto US-301 S via EXIT 343 toward LAWTEY/STARKE.
80.6 mi
Map Avoid
19: Turn RIGHT onto US-27 N/NW 10TH ST/OLD BLICHTON RD/FL-500 N. Continue to follow US-27 N/FL-500 N.
2.9 mi
Map Avoid
20: Merge onto I-75 S via the ramp on the LEFT toward TAMPA.
142.7 mi
Map Avoid
21: Merge onto FRUITVILLE RD/FL-780 W via EXIT 210 toward SARASOTA/ST ARMANDS/MOTE AQUARIUM/GULF BEACHES.
5.5 mi
Map Avoid
22: Turn LEFT onto N WASHINGTON BLVD/US-301/WASHINGTON BLVD N.
0.2 mi
Map Avoid
23: End at Sarasota, FL
man I drew all these penises for nothing - housh

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Postby WilliamC » Tue Apr 14, 2009 23:53:18

Ginger brandy, good shot.... FOR ME TO POOP ON!
Do it again!

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Postby MrsVox » Wed Apr 15, 2009 09:11:16

Barry Jive wrote:how does my dad not like jazz, at all?


How does my dad not like fiction?

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Postby TheDude24 » Wed Apr 15, 2009 09:29:29

MrsVox wrote:
Barry Jive wrote:how does my dad not like jazz, at all?


How does my dad not like fiction?


How does my dad not like any music with drums?

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Postby Trent Steele » Wed Apr 15, 2009 09:30:08

Just saw some dude with a combover that had been whipped all the way to the other side. He looked like Lemmy if Lemmy shaved the left side of his head
I know what you're asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my penis. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater.

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Postby TenuredVulture » Wed Apr 15, 2009 09:37:09

I must remember it's Wednesday. And that I have a physical this afternoon.

I also need to talk about my weird cholesterol.
Be Bold!

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Postby Bill McNeal » Wed Apr 15, 2009 11:58:27

I think my son's tigger toy has more than 20 toes....

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Last edited by Bill McNeal on Wed Apr 15, 2009 11:59:54, edited 2 times in total.
man I drew all these penises for nothing - housh

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Postby Bucky » Wed Apr 15, 2009 11:59:22

Is that Jenny Lewis :?:

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