Federal health officials report that there were a record number of STD cases last year.

Fortunately, there is little chance of that record being broken this year. In June, Paris Hilton spent three days in solitary confinement.

Goomeister wrote:Federal health officials report that there were a record number of STD cases last year.

Fortunately, there is little chance of that record being broken this year. In June, Paris Hilton spent three days in solitary confinement.

Is the strike over?

In order to check my balance, my bank is asking me who my favorite athlete is. I've tried Brian Westbrook, Plaxico Burress, Laron Profit, Cole Hamels, Pat Burrell, and none of them are working. Who the hell is my favorite athlete?

T.J. Houshmandzadeh? Abe Nunez?

jerseyhoya wrote:T.J. Houshmandzadeh? Abe Nunez?

Brilliant!

i should probably work up the balls to talk to her seeing as there's only, like, 4 more classes left in the sem.

actually, i think i'll stick with the whole "awkward eye-contact every 10 seconds" routine and see how far that gets me.

td11 wrote:i should probably work up the balls to talk to her seeing as there's only, like, 4 more classes left in the sem.

actually, i think i'll stick with the whole "awkward eye-contact every 10 seconds" routine and see how far that gets me.

Good luck! You're going to make some woman very happy someday.

O.J. Simpson must face trial on kidnapping, armed robbery and other charges stemming from a suspected sports memorabilia heist, a justice of the peace ruled Wednesday. (AP)

Once again national attention will center on O.J. Simpson. O.J. said that he is reclaiming the spotlight that rightfully belongs to him.

Dude, live to fight another day!

I should have called out. I think I'll be going home by noon.

No, I don't think it's weird at all that I can't find a report I did 3 years ago when I used to work for you. Seems about right to me.

When you order a waffle to eat you don't expect to come home stuffed

I am home sick as balls today :?

Why? It's easier to just fake it.

td11 wrote:i should probably work up the balls to talk to her seeing as there's only, like, 4 more classes left in the sem.

actually, i think i'll stick with the whole "awkward eye-contact every 10 seconds" routine and see how far that gets me.

He who hesitates, masturbates.

Woody wrote:I am home sick as balls today :?

In what manner does your sickness resemble balls?

/LARRY LITERAL

An 84.37-carat white diamond touted by Sotheby's for its size and beauty sold at auction Wednesday to Guess clothing company founder Georges Marciano for just under $16.2 million. This was the second highest price ever paid for a diamond at an auction sale. (AP)

A new record price will be paid for a diamond if Kobe Bryant's wife ever catches him cheating again.

Phight On! wrote:

td11 wrote:i should probably work up the balls to talk to her seeing as there's only, like, 4 more classes left in the sem.

actually, i think i'll stick with the whole "awkward eye-contact every 10 seconds" routine and see how far that gets me.

He who hesitates, masturbates.

damn you. damn you to hell.

so the average on the last test was a 30%. I think we can aim for lower tomorrow. definitely.

When did the "two guys jump up, turn in mid air and bump each others' backs/butts" become the go-to celebration among football players?

Jackson Browne is campaigning for Democrat John Edwards. Jackson Browne says that John Edwards is the most progressive candidate with a chance at winning the White House, and that he would do the most for working-class Americans. (AP)

While Edwards welcomes Browne's presence and support at campaign rallies, he has requested that Browne refrain from singing two of his biggest hits: "Running on Empty" and "The Pretender"