whats the product

for a friend

Phan In Phlorida wrote:

Soren wrote:took a dump that was football sized just now. I always knew I could be something special

JUburton wrote:pics or it didnt happen

Youseff wrote:must have done something to his butthole because he's been licking it like crazy. he licks it standing up and his nose only reaches about 97% of the way there so the other 3% is his tongue.

mickbayne wrote:There was one that was kinda brown but it still tasted okay.

POOP JOKES

And also, I am 11.

Story time: So about a month ago, my younger sister had her car stolen in South Philadelphia when she was visiting a friend. She went looking for it to drive back to my parents’ house at like 11:30 PM, apparently wandered around for an hour or two looking for it, and it was gone. The next day she contacts all the nearby towing places, and no one has the car. She is in contact with the Philadelphia Parking Authority, and they have nothing on it. Eventually she files a police report that it is stolen, and after riding around with a Philly cop checking all the streets in the neighborhood again, she gives up and heads home via PATCO.

Over the next couple of weeks, she gets rides/borrows my mom’s car when my mom doesn’t need it, etc. Then last weekend she borrowed my grandmother’s car to head down to Delaware for a few days. My dad needed to take his car into the shop this Monday and was planning to use my grandmother’s car for work, so he called my sister up on Sunday afternoon to make sure she would be home. She tells him she’s just been into an accident on Broad St., having missed a red light or something. My mom had explicitly told her not to take her car into Philadelphia because in the past 12 months my sister has received two parking tickets, had her car towed, and had her car stolen in Philly. When reminded of this later that evening, my sister yells back at my mom that she never said anything about not taking my grandma’s car into Philadelphia. Impressive stuff from a college grad.

Anyway, the damage isn’t too bad (needs a new bumper and possibly hood at some point), and the car is drivable, so she heads back and things move on for the time being. Yesterday she gets a call from a towing company that her car was found and towed. My dad, who actually owns the car, drives home from the beach to give my sister a letter with power of attorney or whatever so she can present ownership to the police vehicle recovery people who will give her the papers to get it from the towing lot.

I was not doing anything scheduled today, and my mom is at the beach, so I said I’d take her in to get the car. My dad had been told on the phone that the car needed to be picked up by 12:30 PM today or else we’d be charged for the towing – 24 hr grace period for stolen cars. My sister and I settle on leaving at 9:30, figure let rush hour clear up, and that’d get us to the police place by 10:15. Even if there’s a wait we should be fine. As we’re leaving, I ask my sister if she has the keys and letter my dad gave her. She says they’re on the island with her stuff. She’s also packing for the weekend and getting a couple of screwdrivers, per my dad’s suggestion in case the ignition was fucked up when the car was stolen. God knows what we would have done with screwdrivers to start a car.

10 minutes into the ride, we hit a bit of traffic with a lane closed for tree removal. I ask my sister again if she has the keys and letter. She says yes, then checks her bag, and realizes she does not have the letter. So we turn around, and by the time we get going the second time it is 10. The ride in is clear, and we get to the police substation in Northeast Philly around 10:45. It takes about a half hour for everything to get sorted out – insurance company had to fax over proof that the car was insured and stuff like that. The cop hands over the towing report/release form, and directions to the lot, which is down in South Philly. I guess my sister knew the lot wasn’t right there yesterday, but I didn’t.

Anyhow, off we go down Roosevelt Blvd and the Schuylkill. As my sister is looking at the towing report, she realizes the car was found on 10th St. in South Philly near where she parked it. At this point she suggests maybe it wasn’t stolen, and she just forgot where it was parked. I’m guessing she’d thought of that as a possibility since she got the call yesterday, but it hadn’t crossed my mind. On the one hand this would be good since the car wouldn’t be broken. On the other, it’d make her a really special individual.

We get to the lot around 11:50, so even with the extra hurdles we’re in the clear. Lady at the window goes through the motions, then tells us it will be $141 dollars. I don’t usually get confrontational with customer service type people, but I’ve had a long morning at this point and sorta snap at her about how we were told it’d be free if we got it before 12:30 and they need to fix that. She says they have 10:30 on the report, but goes off for 10 minutes calling god knows who. I’m guessing it’s some sort of scam this shitty towing company runs to see if they can get extra money out of people who don’t call them out on it. She comes back, says it’s free, car pulls up, my sister gets in and it smells like shit because she left takeout Indian food in the back seat for a month in the summer. Otherwise the car is fine.

She fucking parked it on the street, forgot where she parked it, thought it was stolen, spent a month borrowing other people’s cars/getting in an accident/etc. all the while her car was sitting on the street in South Philadelphia. Amazing scenes. Great way to spend a Friday.

probably been taking my parking spot this past month. her fault that i drove around the neighborhood for 20 minutes looking for a spot.


Barry Jive has a story very similar to this with some girls that 'lost' their car in northern liberties.


also, the screw driver thing. back in the day you could just jam a flat head screwdriver into the ignition and start the car. my moms car was stolen a few times like that.

at least it didn't get filled with poop water while sitting there

Great story, jerz.

Jamie don't forget you can always leave your car at the Acme parking lot overnight if you can't find a spot (they want you to move it by 7am, but I see cars there that don't move for days at a time).

jerseyhoya wrote:Story time: So about a month ago, my younger sister had her car stolen in South Philadelphia ....Amazing scenes. Great way to spend a Friday.

You're a remarkably well-adjusted human being in many ways. I'm not sure yet how your sister is still alive.

you can leave it at the walmart too but i guess it's a little out of the way

z ipper wrote:1/10 men aren't orgasming during sex gtfo

Alcohol.

Bucky wrote:pretty sure i dislike maroon 5. is that cool??

They're awful.

My new personal doctor was freaked out today when I went for a checkup and my heart was 160 BPM. My blood pressure was good. Well maybe if I was told a freaking supermodel would be the one to knock and walk in or someone would have warned me it wouldn't have been so high. It was down to 80 the next time. How would she not be prepared for that?

but she's not a 10 anymore

WilliamC wrote:My new personal doctor was freaked out today when I went for a checkup and my heart was 160 BPM. My blood pressure was good. Well maybe if I was told a freaking supermodel would be the one to knock and walk in or someone would have warned me it wouldn't have been so high. It was down to 80 the next time. How would she not be prepared for that?

You should schedule visits with her at least monthly for awhile. You might have a stroke.

what pisses me off is she's probably not in-network with my health plan

drsmooth wrote:

WilliamC wrote:My new personal doctor was freaked out today when I went for a checkup and my heart was 160 BPM. My blood pressure was good. Well maybe if I was told a freaking supermodel would be the one to knock and walk in or someone would have warned me it wouldn't have been so high. It was down to 80 the next time. How would she not be prepared for that?

You should schedule visits with her at least monthly for awhile. You might have a stroke.

Yeah I agree. That would be a hell of a thing to go to the dr. for one thing but she kills you by giving you a heart attack or stroke. Next time I will at least be prepared.

Did she check your junk? Did you look her in the eye while she did it?

my neighbor just got arrested. weird.

Phred wrote:Did she check your junk? Did you look her in the eye while she did it?

No but she laughed at my funny jokes or whatever it was that was coming out of my mouth when we first met.

WilliamC wrote:
Yeah I agree. That would be a hell of a thing to go to the dr. for one thing but she kills you by giving you a heart attack or stroke. Next time I will at least be prepared.

No, no, I don't mean a stroke - I mean a "stroke".

I'm sure AZRider has some kind of anecdote that would clarify this uhm, opportunity for you