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Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby Soren » Mon Dec 29, 2014 11:42:43

I met my wife on OKC
Olivia Meadows, your "emotional poltergeist"

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby swishnicholson » Mon Dec 29, 2014 12:04:23

PrattRules wrote:I've always wanted to visit SMOM.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sovereign_Military_Order_of_Malta


Anyone know how to make a Maltese cross?
"No woman can call herself free who does not control her own body."

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby 702 » Mon Dec 29, 2014 12:37:22

Hate wine

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby phatj » Mon Dec 29, 2014 13:01:02

swishnicholson wrote:
PrattRules wrote:I've always wanted to visit SMOM.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sovereign_Military_Order_of_Malta


Anyone know how to make a Maltese cross?

You let a cross germinate then you halt germination by drying with hot air
they were a chick hanging out with her friends at a bar, the Phillies would be the 320 lb chick with a nose wart and a dick - Trent Steele

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby Phred » Mon Dec 29, 2014 13:02:30

702 wrote:Was told my humor was "too dry" tonight by a female. I responded with "that's not the only thing dry here tonight then."


Nicely done.

I bet that she didn't get the joke, though.
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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby ReadingPhilly » Mon Dec 29, 2014 13:55:58

Just cleaned out van heusen. Would've gotten a $400 suit for $84 too but they didn't have a 48L jacket.

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby Woody » Mon Dec 29, 2014 14:26:16

Phred wrote:
702 wrote:Was told my humor was "too dry" tonight by a female. I responded with "that's not the only thing dry here tonight then."


Nicely done.

I bet that she didn't get the joke, though.


Nah then Jonah Hill appeared out of nowhere and blurted, "He means your pussy."
you sure do seem to have a lot of time on your hands to be on this forum? Do you have a job? Are you a shut-in?

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby drsmooth » Mon Dec 29, 2014 15:10:01

Grotewold wrote:Fell in love with a bakery cashier today, then a restaurant hostess. In between my son was baptized


fast worker, you
Yes, but in a double utley you can put your utley on top they other guy's utley, and you're the winner. (Swish)

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby drsmooth » Mon Dec 29, 2014 15:11:10

swishnicholson wrote:Anyone know how to make a Maltese cross?


pull that cat's tail should do it
Yes, but in a double utley you can put your utley on top they other guy's utley, and you're the winner. (Swish)

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby The Dude » Mon Dec 29, 2014 15:53:23

My daughter just wrapped herself in a blanket on the floor and went to sleep. First nap she's taking for me in months. Going to read for the next hour and a half
BSG HOF '25

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby swishnicholson » Mon Dec 29, 2014 16:00:30

drsmooth wrote:
swishnicholson wrote:Anyone know how to make a Maltese cross?


pull that cat's tail should do it


"Step on his foot" is the traditional answer, but the judges will grant partial credit in this instance.
"No woman can call herself free who does not control her own body."

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby PrattRules » Mon Dec 29, 2014 16:34:11

Purchased some new Nike sweatpants. Tried those bad boys on and decided I may never take them off again. Feel like I got a new lease on life.
"Just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it." -George Costanza

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby Bill McNeal » Mon Dec 29, 2014 20:17:43

Went to ikea today and spent all the money.
man I drew all these penises for nothing - housh

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby Grotewold » Mon Dec 29, 2014 20:27:27

drsmooth wrote:
Grotewold wrote:Fell in love with a bakery cashier today, then a restaurant hostess. In between my son was baptized


fast worker, you


#blessed

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby 1 » Mon Dec 29, 2014 22:08:08

Bill McNeal wrote:Went to ikea today and spent all the money.

Last Chance, FTW
Fine. You wanna act like you're two? I'll act like I'm one.

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby BigEd76 » Tue Dec 30, 2014 02:25:00

Rev Beez was on the news!

(Go see his FB)

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby Slowhand » Tue Dec 30, 2014 09:00:45

FYE Poop Bandit caught. Reign of Terror finally ends. Story at 11.
How dare you interrupt my Lime Rickey!

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby TomatoPie » Tue Dec 30, 2014 09:47:48

702 wrote:Hate wine


Take it to the unpopular opinions thread eh
Kill the chicken to scare the monkey

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby TomatoPie » Tue Dec 30, 2014 09:50:49

Image



The Downside Of Picking Up A Thrash Metal Band From The Airport
Kill the chicken to scare the monkey

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Re: Random Soft Pretzel Threats For Everyone

Postby Houshphandzadeh » Tue Dec 30, 2014 12:11:51

recommend an iron

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