fucking sex kittens erywhere

The Savior wrote:givem a promise ring and a key to your parents house

sounds like a Fall Out Boy song

dudes down the hall from my girlfriend's place are blasting "Immigrant Song." feel like joining them

now it's "Yellow Ledbetter"

and at least two of them are doing Vedder noises

now it's Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me." dodged a bullet

few scarier moments in life than when a cop rings your doorbell at 4AM

The Savior wrote:few scarier moments in life than when a cop rings your doorbell at 4AM

Yes, this is true. We had that happen at our old house right after we moved in. They were pounding on the door at some hour around 3 or 4 am and "had the place surrounded". They had warrants and stuff for the previous tenant. It was really really awful because we had just moved there (3 hours away from where we'd lived our whole lives) and didn't know anyone, so we knew it was not someone we knew or anything and our son, who was 2 at the time, woke up from it and was screaming his head off. It was really terrifying. I was really pissed at the Dover police dept. for that, you have to register with the city when you lease a place in Dover and we did all of our paperwork and everything, they should have known that the guy wasn't there IMO.

Stomach bug on Super Bowl Sunday. FFFUUUUUUUUU.

Bill McNeal wrote:

The Savior wrote:few scarier moments in life than when a cop rings your doorbell at 4AM

Yes, this is true. We had that happen at our old house right after we moved in. They were pounding on the door at some hour around 3 or 4 am and "had the place surrounded". They had warrants and stuff for the previous tenant. It was really really awful because we had just moved there (3 hours away from where we'd lived our whole lives) and didn't know anyone, so we knew it was not someone we knew or anything and our son, who was 2 at the time, woke up from it and was screaming his head off. It was really terrifying. I was really pissed at the Dover police dept. for that, you have to register with the city when you lease a place in Dover and we did all of our paperwork and everything, they should have known that the guy wasn't there IMO.

That's horrible. I hope you raised hell about that. (not that it would do anything, but jeez). And then you have to deal with your neighbors who think you're criminals.

2 young adults broke into several cars on my block. we were the lucky ones that for whatever reason didn't lock the doors. saved us from having a smashed window. idiots tooks my cologne, change/coins, and the leather folder that held all of the manuals that come with the car. cops caught them, have all the stuff, but notified me at 4AM that they were dusting my car for prints. CSI baby.

found half of the things from my car in my neighbors' yards while walking the dog.

so who can recommend a house alarm system? comcast? ADT?

The Savior wrote:

so who can recommend a house alarm system? comcast? ADT?

Two terriers, a 9 MM, a shotgun and a butcher knife have always worked for me.

What kind of animals steal a man's cologne?

Must have been a twelve year old.

About a year ago, my sister and brother in law had a cop knock on their door around 2 am. The cop was off duty and returning home when he saw two kids acting real suspicious by my brother in law's car. He had left it unlocked because he's dumb and they took a bunch of stuff. The cop stopped and asked what they were doing. They said my brother in law had hired them to do work on his car. When pressed for a bit more of an explanation as to what kind of work they were doing and why they'd be working on the car in the middle of the night, they took off. The cops tracked them down in the woods WITH A HELICOPTER, and brought them back to my sister's, knocked on the door and told them about it. Turns out, these kids apparently got ripped off in a drug deal by the kid across the street from my sister and were going to get back at him by burglarizing his car, but got the wrong house.

Here's one:

The Savior wrote:few scarier moments in life than when a cop rings your doorbell at 4AM

They really don't sound scared. But I suppose I would have wet myself.

TenuredVulture wrote:What kind of animals steal a man's cologne?

Thank gawd you spelled that right because it just reminded me of something. A few Twitter search results of people mispelling cologne...


"Austin sprayed me in the face with his colon and now I smell like a man"

"Great now my jacket and scarf plus myself smell like guy colon"

"I LOVE THE SMELL OF MY DADS COLON"

"I love it when a hot guy passes me and leaves his colon smell"

"Why the hell does my shirt smell like Brendon's colon?"

"When someone get on the bus and they smell like weed and really cheep colon"

"I like my colon to smell like berries."

They sound a little like Lil' Vulture on a roller coaster, though they use more profanity. Adrenaline.

I made it until last night before learning who is playing in the Super Bowl. I also had a couple who seemed to get offended when I said I'm not a football fan and won't be watching.

TenuredVulture wrote:They sound a little like Lil' Vulture on a roller coaster, though they use more profanity. Adrenaline.

Yeah. When you don't actually get blowed up, the adrenaline rush is pretty kewl.