Live from the Aperture: it's Random Thoughts!

by **ReadingPhilly** » Sun Jul 12, 2009 20:18:32

this sounds pretty solid to me.

From Rita Akuma
Abidjan, Ivory Coast
West Africa.

Dearest One ,
Good day and Compliments,

I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the wish of God for you to help me and my family, God Almighty will bless and reward you aboundantly and you would never regreat this. I am a female student from University of Burkina-Faso, Ouagadougou.

I am 19 yrs old. I will like any person who can be caring, loving and home oriented. I will love to have a long-term relationship with you and to know more about you. I would like to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this transaction.Well, my father died earlier two months ago and left I and my junior brother behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titled him over sixteen years before his death.

I was a princess to him and I am the only person who can take care of his wealth now because my junior brother is still young and my mother is dead. My late Father deposited the sum of USD 3,000, 000.00 dollars(Three Million, US Dollars) with a Bank here in Abidjan Coted'Ivoire.
This money was annually paid into my late fathers account from Shell petroleum development company (spdc) and chevron oil company .I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad,so that we can come over there because my father's kindred have taken all our belonging and properties without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town. This is why i need your help to retrieve this money to your account before my father's kindred will taken over what belongs to meand my family, which they were planning to do.

Now, I urgently need your humble assistance to move this money from Bank here to your bank account and I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me invest this money wisely.I am ready to pay 25% of the total amount to you if you help us in this transaction and another 10%interest of Annual After Income to you, for handling this transaction for us, which you will strongly have absolute control over.If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund, kindly reach me.
Note that this transaction is 100% risk free and I hope to commence the transaction as quick as possible as soon as I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,
Rita Akuma.

by **Bucky** » Sun Jul 12, 2009 20:43:21

make sure you get a pic before making any kind of committment

by **The Red Tornado** » Sun Jul 12, 2009 20:59:36

AGGGGHGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I HAVE AN ICE CREAM HEADACHE!!!

by **karn** » Sun Jul 12, 2009 21:12:18

What do you think your first mistake was, sir?

by **Trent Steele** » Sun Jul 12, 2009 21:22:10

ReadingPhilly wrote:i thought you got out of that

personally, i'd see if ptk was available for dinner and drinks

Things never end, they just get rescheduled.

by **Werthless** » Sun Jul 12, 2009 23:17:02

TenuredVulture wrote:You know it's bad when you think your own farts stink.

I dont remember the exact circumstances, but in the last month, I had the thought "If I farted now, it would improve the smell."

by **Barry Jive** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 00:55:26

Wilco-->Wilmington bars close at 1 a.m., wtf-->day drinking in Philadelphia-->Ryan Howard is a demi-god-->blacking out and making out with my friend-->dad calling me a "screwup"

all in all, pretty productive couple of days

by **CrashburnAlley** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 01:26:16

So I just killed a kockroach (avoiding filter FTW). Are they like ants: where there's one, there's many? Or can I sleep safely assuming that it's only one?

by **Phan In Phlorida** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 01:38:16

TenuredVulture wrote:
dajafi wrote:I'm in Prospect Park in Brooklyn waiting to meet some friends. Meanwhile, I'm watching two lesbians on a blanket kissing and caressing each other.

It's never as hot when they're real lesbians.

...also, depends on if we're talking Portia de Rossies or K.D. Langs.

by **phatj** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 08:16:51

CrashburnAlley wrote:So I just killed a kockroach (avoiding filter FTW). Are they like ants: where there's one, there's many? Or can I sleep safely assuming that it's only one?

It's not the only one.

by **Bucky** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 08:41:33

phatj wrote:
CrashburnAlley wrote:So I just killed a kockroach (avoiding filter FTW). Are they like ants: where there's one, there's many? Or can I sleep safely assuming that it's only one?

It's not the only one.

Listen, I've slept in a room with roaches before, but I'v never had one hop in bed and throw one leg over me

by **TenuredVulture** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 09:17:52

CrashburnAlley wrote:So I just killed a kockroach (avoiding filter FTW). Are they like ants: where there's one, there's many? Or can I sleep safely assuming that it's only one?

I used to work as an exterminator. You've got more roaches. You can try a DIY extermination. Get some toxic crap from Home depot--not an aerosol, though. Something that shoots out in a jet. Clear out all your cabinets that are at ground level in your kitchen and bathroom. Obviously, if there's any debris, clean that out well. Also, you might as well clean out any other cabinets where you store food. (I don't care if that's where you saw the bug or not.) And if you say, well, that's too much trouble, I'm calling the exterminator, I'll tell you the exterminator isn't cleaning out your cabinet for your.) Spray your toxic chemical around the pipes and and and in all the corners. Let it dry, and then put down some shelving paper (Non adhesive) or even just newspaper before you put the stuff back in the cabinets.

If you saw the roach in saw a bedroom or a living room, you should probably spray all your baseboards as well. Also, there things you can buy to apply to the treat the outside of the house. Spray around doorways and such.

by **The Red Tornado** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 09:30:01

by **BigEd76** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 11:05:48

A co-worker just left the office in an ambulance. Happy Monday!

by **The Red Tornado** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 11:06:33

you piss in his coffee?

by **BigEd76** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 11:24:28

Since rat poison worked good in "9 to 5", I figured I'd try that...

Nah, one of our directors has been having migraines and high blood pressure and supposedly she was really pale this morning and almost fainted, so instead of the co-worker driving her to the hospital 10 minutes away (since that would interrupt a precious meeting or pr0n time or whatever), they called for an ambulance instead. They said she was fine though...

by **dajafi** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 11:25:10

Phan In Phlorida wrote:
TenuredVulture wrote:
dajafi wrote:I'm in Prospect Park in Brooklyn waiting to meet some friends. Meanwhile, I'm watching two lesbians on a blanket kissing and caressing each other.

It's never as hot when they're real lesbians.

...also, depends on if we're talking Portia de Rossies or K.D. Langs.

In the case of the couple in the park, oddly enough, they were kind of one of each.

by **Houshphandzadeh** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 11:25:17

do you like her?

by **Woody** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 11:25:26

That'll be an expensive decision

by **TenuredVulture** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 11:36:31

So, it turns out that repairing my dishwasher and my oven will cost almost as much as buying new ones. It cost me $115 to find this out, however. Oh, and a few months ago, I did fix the oven, at about $200.

However, the repairman said I can take the $115 off the purchase of the new appliances, as long as I buy them from Sears.

I'm irritated, especially by the fact that both have decided to break around the same time. Maybe Mrs. Vulture, who is pretty good at haggling, can helps us get a good deal.

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