But it’s become evident to me that Ruben Amaro is working with only slightly more foresight and introspection than a two-year-old looking for something to brace himself against while he soils his diaper.

phdave wrote:if Sports Illustrated or Grantland would just up and hire me already.

I think today is the day, as such a trade becomes, it seems, unavoidable, that we turn to the internet not out of fear but for catharsis, because after months of trying to discuss the situation analytically, my patience is wearing thin.

mcare89 wrote:

I think today is the day, as such a trade becomes, it seems, unavoidable, that we turn to the internet not out of fear but for catharsis, because after months of trying to discuss the situation analytically, my patience is wearing thin.

I have a real comma nazi of a professor that would obliterate this.

Wizlah wrote:baumann will soon write better or disappear up his own arse with a poker (he’s young, yeah? That shit will totally work itself out).

I’m not optimistic. And you shouldn’t be either.

phdave wrote:

Phylan wrote:

phdave wrote:"we're smarter than people who run baseball teams".

oh cool this shit again

Long have I dreamed of RAJ foisting his mistakes on baseball's only GM with less of a clue. He appears to have done so.

Judging by the Phillies trade hoaxes of the past 24 hours, made-up internet trades are a better GM than Ruben Amaro.

Ruben Amaro is a noted pescatarian, meaning that the only meat he eats is fish, a trait he has in common with dolphins. If he trades Singleton or Brown for Heath Bell or Mike Adams, Amaro will have demonstrated that, like a dolphin, he is operating with, admittedly, some degree of sentience, but with a level of intelligence far below that of even the most developmentally handicapped human being. It boggles the mind that major league general managers–who ought to be, at least on paper, 30 of the most knowledgeable and cunning baseball minds in the game–still overvalue relief pitchers as they do. If baseball people ruled the world, I swear we’d all still be in the fucking Bronze Age.

smitty wrote:Plus he's calling dolphins stupid. didn't he ever see Flipper?

The dumbest dolphin in the world probably can write better than this guy anyways.

Wizlah wrote:d) #$!&@ the barves. I mean, really, #$!&@ them with pox and dynamite and rabid, engorged, rancid #$!&@ Chihuahuas.

I have overwhelming mathematical evidence that the Phillies aren’t going to make the playoffs. If you’re going to talk me off of that evidence, you’re going to have to come up with something better than “Stop being a stick-in-the-mud.” I have overwhelming empirical evidence that Darin Ruf will not be a good major leaguer. If you’re going to talk me off of that viewpoint, you’re going to have to come up with something more compelling than “I think you’re wrong.”

phdave wrote:

I have overwhelming mathematical evidence that the Phillies aren’t going to make the playoffs. If you’re going to talk me off of that evidence, you’re going to have to come up with something better than “Stop being a stick-in-the-mud.”

phdave wrote:

I have overwhelming mathematical evidence that the Phillies aren’t going to make the playoffs. If you’re going to talk me off of that evidence, you’re going to have to come up with something better than “Stop being a stick-in-the-mud.” I have overwhelming empirical evidence that Darin Ruf will not be a good major leaguer. If you’re going to talk me off of that viewpoint, you’re going to have to come up with something more compelling than “I think you’re wrong.”