my cousin mose wrote:Trolling on the Internet is a hobby I'd like to learn more about. The perks, in particular, and why anyone ever thinks its a good way to spend their time

smitty wrote:It will be funny again when we stop these stupid posts and just let Dave post the real comedy.

I’m not optimistic. And you shouldn’t be either.

Phylan wrote:

smitty wrote:The funniest part about this whole brew-hah-ha is most of this thread is unedited Baumanisms posted without comment.

I think the funniest part is actually that most of the impetus for this thread was phdave being a bitter child about Baumann's pessimism about the Phillies entering the season, and his pessimism about their wild card chances for the last week or week and a half.

And y'know, look how irrational that turned out to be.

phdave wrote:

if you want to call me a Bill Simmons ripoff, but with fewer readers, less money, and a different set of overused pop culture references, so be it. Though if I were to suddenly have his audience and his paycheck, I wouldn’t object. In case anyone from a major sports website is looking for a columnist.

dajafi wrote:It's true. Hell, someone around here usually will defend McCarthy and Wheeler. But other than his friend, who isn't even really arguing on merit, there's pretty much consensus re: the absence of insight, emo douchebaggery and godawful writing.

He reminds me of Jean Teasdale from The Onion, except evidently he's real and not in on the joke.

I’ve always been a Schneider fan. He was one of those players in MVP 2005 for GameCube who would cost you next to nothing but could poke a fastball into the right field seats if you timed it right

The Phillies made a clearly suboptimal move in re-signing Schneider, as much as Vance Worley may like him and as much as he may be alienated from his species-being by the menial nature of his work. But it’s the kind of suboptimal move that isn’t what James Joyce would have called didactic–instilling fear or loathing–as the Papelbon contract might have. Neither is it kinetic–moving the viewer to some sort of response–in any sense. I am not moved to frustration, or rage, or even more than a token disappointment by the prospect of having Schneider on the team again. Instead, I’m overcome with the kind of dispassionate irritability that led Meursault to shoot the Arab because the sun was in his eyes.

One last note: if you couldn’t get all the way through this post, that’s okay. I’m not really sure there was much of a point to it anyway.

I think today is the day, as such a trade becomes, it seems, unavoidable, that we turn to the internet not out of fear but for catharsis, because after months of trying to discuss the situation analytically, my patience is wearing thin. I’m tired of discussing the pros and cons of Relief Pitcher A versus Relief Pitcher B, or Hunter Pence versus Carlos Quentin and Ryan Ludwick. I’m through being patient and ecumenical, because, frankly, I’m afraid. I’m afraid that Ruben Amaro is going to do something, out of a misplaced sense of panic or perhaps nothing more complicated than his own ignorance, that is so profoundly stupid as to touch on the bounds of mental illness.

I’ve been playing a lot of FIFA 12 recently, mostly in Manager Mode. I have a Manager Mode going with Arsenal, and three years in I found myself winning the league title but having constructed a team with a lot of redundancies and a few weaknesses. In soccer, as you may or may not know, players generally aren’t traded man-for-man, but their contracts are sold. So when Real Madrid acquired Cristiano Ronaldo from Manchester United in 2009, they didn’t send players in the other direction, they agreed with Man U on a price and cut them a check–a $132 million check–to purchase Ronaldo’s contract.

Well, because I couldn’t trade, say, Aaron Ramsey and Kieran Gibbs, for draft picks, I sold them. Other teams offered me ridiculous sums of money for players I would have otherwise kept, and I sold them too. So I wound up approaching the transfer deadline with a team I was mostly comfortable with, and $350 million to spend on players. So I bought. Without regard for how good a deal I was getting or how my new purchases might fit in with my team. Or a regard for the possibility that the money might I did this because it’s a video game and if my team blows up I can just start over.

This, I’ve come to realize, is how Ruben Amaro conducts his business.

It's happened to me about half a dozen times this year, but I've got an idea for a column but no platform on which to publish it.

Seriously, if anyone desires my thoughts on how the NHL lockout is the perfect metaphor for the fatal flaw in American politics, let me know

This would all be so much easier if Sports Illustrated or Grantland would just up and hire me already.

phdave wrote:

The Phillies made a clearly suboptimal move in re-signing Schneider, as much as Vance Worley may like him and as much as he may be alienated from his species-being by the menial nature of his work. But it’s the kind of suboptimal move that isn’t what James Joyce would have called didactic–instilling fear or loathing–as the Papelbon contract might have. Neither is it kinetic–moving the viewer to some sort of response–in any sense. I am not moved to frustration, or rage, or even more than a token disappointment by the prospect of having Schneider on the team again. Instead, I’m overcome with the kind of dispassionate irritability that led Meursault to shoot the Arab because the sun was in his eyes.