I just ordered a pizza.

awesome sauce

PrattRules wrote:This is a drink-rolling-rock-and-watch-tiger kinda day.

I used to like the occasional rolling rock back in the day, but then one day I read a review that said it tasted like canned corn water, and now whenever I have it, that’s all I can think of.

My four year old told the waitress mom watches “Okrah” nude, seconds before one of the twins frisbeed his plate into the wall how’s your Sunday doin

Grotewold wrote:My four year old told the waitress mom watches “Okrah” nude, seconds before one of the twins frisbeed his plate into the wall how’s your Sunday doin

I'm sure it's fine. With the change in time, I'm sure they'll crash by midnight.

THANKSWISH

my son is a perfect horror movie villain. he doesn't nap for anyone except the teachers at daycare, so that means the days hes not there (Sat-Tues) it's extremely easy to get him to sleep. Today, a day in that "easy" time frame, and it's my turn to put him down. I was rocking him in the rocking chair, talking about our day, he was exhausted, rubbing his eyes, and asking to lay down. i put him in the crib, and he just rolled over and was down for the count. i was a bit suspicious, so i sat in the chair for another 20 minutes and made sure he was done.

I left, and went downstairs and sat on the couch. that's when i saw the motion activated light turn on at the top of the stairs. i saw the cat was next to me, so i went upstairs and there he was. he lay silently for 20 minutes until i left, waited another 10 so i thought he was out, quietly climbed out of his crib and slowly opened his door bc it's squeaky to sneak out.

TL:DR i chloroformed my son

I didn’t know Oprah was still on.

Reasonably confident that wasn’t his only factual error there. But I’m reversing the baby monitors just in case

There are A LOT of "Okrah" gifs. Difficult to choose!

Forgot to set my alarm last night, which usually isn't a big deal since I wake up before it most days anyway, Daylight Savings time though fucked that up. Woke up half an hour late. Damn you daylight savings time, damn you to hell!

I'm reviewing a heating bill at work and it has a bar graph starting in July and it's really blowing my mind that July - November spells JASON. If you want to stretch it more starting in July is JASON DJ FM/AM... J.

Bill McNeal wrote:Forgot to set my alarm last night, which usually isn't a big deal since I wake up before it most days anyway, Daylight Savings time though fucked that up. Woke up half an hour late. Damn you daylight savings time, damn you to hell!

I was moving in slow motion this morning, with the gray sky compounding Daylight Savings woes

Made it to my desk about 30 seconds before my weekly Monday AM conference call

The way my dad talks about them, you'd think he thinks that strict adherence to leash laws is a precondition for a functioning society.

I have off today. I slept until 10:30 and I'm having some coffee now.

I just let my cat out. Now he wants to come back in. He'll want to go back out again soon after he comes back in.

why don't you just take your cat to work

Nap time!