Napalm wrote:i am back in America after a few months abroad. i am feeling one hell of a calm

WilliamC wrote:Having a panic attack I can honestly say is the most horrible feeling aside from someone I loved dying I have ever had.

I started having them in February. The first one was just so random that it scared me to the point that I dialed 911 and an ambulance came(I was at home alone at the time) because I was 100 percent sure that I was having a heart attack. I am generally healthy and my heartrate was over 220 bpm... The EMT's then just told me it was a panic and I kept saying "NO I am dying, I don't have panic attacks". They said I was going to give myself a heart attack if I didn't control my breathing which I don't think helped at all. I hadn't been to the hospital aside for a hernia since I was 5.

So weird. I was just watching Mike and Mike in the Morning and I don't think they triggered the first one. Then I started having them I think more than anything just because I was worried about having another one. They put me on stuff and it is working but that I would never wish on anyone. It's definitely not something to look down on(and I admit I might have).

Just came to mind after reading up on what Greinke has went through.

Napalm wrote:i'm glad you asked since this was a very personal trip for me, for learning to maintain physical and mental health and grow harmoniously alongside the rest of humankind. it was about the elements, dualism, personality, sustenance of life, and what death and rebirth is.

i spent a whole day at the beach, 9 am til 9 pm, and watched the world spin, from a peaceful quiet morning where the water looks coated with a glaze of glass, a late morning moon visible in the light blue skies.. to the mid-day sun scorching the sands and sparkling the waters, bringing out fire eating people, energizing them, with music and noise pumping through the air, food, drink, smoke.. to the late afternoon fade when the sun softens and the colors swirl, and whatever made everybody tick starting to dim.. and then the glaze again. You ever see one of those scenes in a movie where the camera is focused on a guy who is staring straight ahead and the commuting world around him is in fast forward motion, just a blur, but he's behind the blur witnessing the layer of stillness in it? That's what I felt.. just to watch it all come and go was beautiful and there was nothing to it more than that. Feelings & moments, those ticks, time ticking i guess. A lot of acceptance and appreciation and love for it all. It pumps the brakes on the ego and asks yourself what are you doing with yourself that's good for others too? It's a life long tricky balancing act, but I will never forget how i felt it that day.. & it was smack dab during a week where I was totally becoming one with earth fire water and air. It might have been some divine shit for all I know, enlightened primordial wisdom. Primitive is the truth, and i think our superpowered brain can be a dangerous weapon in it's quest for whatever it's questing for, so handle with care!

deep shit for me, maybe more than you were asking for, but i had to share that. Getting wrapped up in ourselves will eventually suffocate us, so i gotta remember to loosen it a bit. And a lot of good conversations with people lent me perspective too, a reminder of my roots in ancient greek philosophical thought. Writing authentic poetry. Spending time with no just love and light, but demons and wrath too. And just sharing really dank meals and having time together with others feel personal. Those are the vibes that sustain us. I'm glad to be back, and I hope i don't fuck it up too bad

Bucky wrote:

Bucky wrote:so i woke up to 622 emails in my primary inbox. Most of them subscription confirmations or asking me to confirm my subscription. Pretty much every mailing list on the planet. Which one of you choads did this to me

Bucky wrote:In related news, you may recall all the way back to Monday when I woke up to 622 emails and some bot had signed me up for every mailing list in the world. Well, got a snail-mail from Citi today - "notice of suspicious account activity". Couldn't log on to the account. Called them, and they couldn't tell me exactly what happened, but they did say that they had automatically de-activated my online access. I'm guessing the bot tried to set me up with a citi account somehow and they recognized the email addy as one already in use. The account is unused, and they said there were no transactions.

SO did some more googling on this "mass email subscription" thingy:

So it looks like the bulk email was supposed to be a distraction, so emails regarding password change attempts were missed. Luckily it was caught and no major compromises

( https://community.spiceworks.com/topic/ ... ling-lists )

It all adds up. Although I did browse through all the "fake signup" emails to see if there was some "real" email intermingled, and saw nothing like this, I guess it's possible I did miss something. So I guess this is just informational now so that if something like this happens to anyone else, be sure to look through everything in case they try this rigamarole on you too. (I have considered the possibility that my email account has been compromised, but in that case they would just delete the password change email and would have no need to send all the fake subscriptions as cover).

Working on a shorter synopsis fof this for my facebook world because hey that's what I do

Doll Is Mine wrote:This sounds awesome. I would love to have this kind of experience right now. My sister in Greece has been trying to convince me to visit for the last few months but I just don't think I'm mentally ready for a trip like this.

Uncle Milty wrote:I thought all the hippies died or bought business suits.

Woody wrote:Napalm that's wild, man. Napaste.

Barry Jive wrote:did acid the other day. thought it was a weed edible and I could go to the bank and do laundry and comfortably take a train to my parents' for dinner. I quickly realized that it was not, and that I could not. It was a stressful experience and also cool as hell