As someone said a while back, no matter what, Matt Stairs will never have to buy another beer in this city ever again. That is, if people don't confuse him with Joe the Plumber.
I know what you're asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my penis. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater.