jamiethekiller wrote:so what is the deal

WheelsFellOff wrote:Grew the rare 'third testicle'

That's not too far off

I have a cyst; it's harmless and doesn't need to be operated on, but I think I'm going to get it axed anyway

And the pain I felt was entirely coincidental. Came down with a flu-like viral infection this week that had me freaking out

Nothing breaks the ice with women like talking about ball surgery.

Tornado story seals the deal

In my 23 years, I've found that the best way to get out of any situation is to lie and say that you have diarrhea. This goes for school, work, social gatherings,etc... As long as you aren't embarrassed to tell someone you have the squirts, it's the ultimate excuse.

so true. no one wants to prove you are lying on that one. they typically run the other direction.

As opposed to the few times where they tear off your pants and inspect

that's a big 'as long as'

No reason to be embarrassed, we've all had the unpleasant experience of riding the porcelain express in a public restroom. They'll respect your willingness to admit something like that, and even though you're completely lying, will think you are a very honest individual for sharing your troubles.

how about I just say I have an upset stomach?

telling people you just crapped yourself is bulletproof

nope, diarrhea is the trigger word that brings immediate empathy from said employer/friend/family

upset stomach is too tame of a term, they might just think you should nut up and drink some ginger ale

Trent Steele has the right idea, he's taking it to another level. I like it, go big or go home I always say

diarrhea brings disgust. you don't want to be related to disgusting things

I could be wrong

maybe loose stool? or the runs?

after just a few days of limited arm mobility, I think the campaign to eliminate caps lock is a bad idea

EJ is completely right. And as a previous user of the diarrhea excuse to get out of a dreaded social engagement, I can say it was the perfect word choice. They winced and told me to take care of business. I ended up going to California Tortilla for lunch and got diarrhea anyway. The irony was not lost on me.

How could I get so many fans in Rock Band? I'm really just a cover band. How could I attract so many fans?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMFwn1G_NZU[/youtube]

what happened that this isn't working?