Guys when there's a major shooting please post it. I get all my news from here. I could have been watching CNN for two hours by now.

jerseyhoya wrote:Guys when there's a major shooting please post it. I get all my news from here. I could have been watching CNN for two hours by now.

i just saw it on the new too. had no idea it had happened until now for the exact same reason you stated.

I'm on a self-imposed 72 news blackout (54 hours remaining) due to non-WFC so I didn't know about that either. Damn.

this shooting is nuts

wow i didn't hear about it til just now either

i think i'm going to empty my bank account to pay off my student loans. this is just a cluster fuck time and time again.

So naturally, because my wife is away, the smoke detector in my son's bedroom decides to run out of battery power and starts doing that annoying 100 decibel chirp every 30 seconds. And naturally this happens the day when I'm the most tired I can recall in my adult life. And naturally I notice this god awful mother fucking soul-sucking chirping sound just as I'm drifting off to sleep, about 45 minutes ago. So I undertake a stealth operation to sneak into the room without waking the boy (I soon realize that for some reason the chirping doesn't seem to be waking him, utley bless his little head) and investigate the matter. In my foggy brain the first thought I had was to try and disconnect the whole thing... but I soon thought better of that idea for fear that I'd accidentally set off armageddon smoke alarm hell. Then I notice on the detector it says "Hold to silence". What I didn't realize was that right above it it says "Hold to test", so like a dumb prick I accidentally set off smoke detector Defcon 3 for what must have been the longest 10 seconds of my life. And it wasn't like it tested just the alarm in Splinter's room... oh no, it set them ALL off. So after I got them all to shut the fuck up (Hold to silence!), I went downstairs and tore apart every cheap plastic crap toy (YOU NEED A FUCKING SCREW DRIVER TO DO THIS?! DIE CHINA. DIE DIE DIE) Splinter has in search of a 9 volt battery. Nothing. Then I remember we have an entire freezer full of batteries. Nothing. We have AAA fucking batteries for days, but not one mother fucking nine volt. Not one goddamn mother fucking nine volt battery in the entire house, besides the ones currently residing in the smoke detectors. F my life. A sense of dread creeps in, but then, just as I'm about to break down and wake up the boy so that we can drive to the store and buy a five year supply of nine volt batteries, it hits me. THE GUITAR TUNER. *high five* Sanity saved. Sleepless night averted. Good night all. Change your batteries and test your smoke detectors.

ur fat lol

Woody wrote:So naturally, because my wife is away, the smoke detector in my son's bedroom decides to run out of battery power and starts doing that annoying 100 decibel chirp every 30 seconds. And naturally this happens the day when I'm the most tired I can recall in my adult life. And naturally I notice this god awful mother $#@! soul-sucking chirping sound just as I'm drifting off to sleep, about 45 minutes ago. So I undertake a stealth operation to sneak into the room without waking the boy (I soon realize that for some reason the chirping doesn't seem to be waking him, utley bless his little head) and investigate the matter. In my foggy brain the first thought I had was to try and disconnect the whole thing... but I soon thought better of that idea for fear that I'd accidentally set off armageddon smoke alarm hell. Then I notice on the detector it says "Hold to silence". What I didn't realize was that right above it it says "Hold to test", so like a dumb prick I accidentally set off smoke detector Defcon 3 for what must have been the longest 10 seconds of my life. And it wasn't like it tested just the alarm in Splinter's room... oh no, it set them ALL off. So after I got them all to shut the $#@! up (Hold to silence!), I went downstairs and tore apart every cheap plastic crap toy (YOU NEED A $#@! SCREW DRIVER TO DO THIS?! DIE CHINA. DIE DIE DIE) Splinter has in search of a 9 volt battery. Nothing. Then I remember we have an entire freezer full of batteries. Nothing. We have AAA $#@! batteries for days, but not one mother $#@! nine volt. Not one goddamn mother $#@! nine volt battery in the entire house, besides the ones currently residing in the smoke detectors. F my life. A sense of dread creeps in, but then, just as I'm about to break down and wake up the boy so that we can drive to the store and buy a five year supply of nine volt batteries, it hits me. THE GUITAR TUNER. *high five* Sanity saved. Sleepless night averted. Good night all. Change your batteries and test your smoke detectors.

I have actually had almost the identical experience - son was probably about the same age & everything - but did happen to find 9v salvation in a toy my son almost never ever played with - a remote control dune buggy type thing.

One gets uncomfortably familiar with the frailties of one's nervous system in the course of such an event. You really get a good idea how easily you'd sell out your country/friends/family under torture, for example

These people on Youtube that turn modern songs into 8-bit REALLY love NES.

Woody wrote:So naturally, because my wife is away, the smoke detector in my son's bedroom decides to run out of battery power and starts doing that annoying 100 decibel chirp every 30 seconds. And naturally this happens the day when I'm the most tired I can recall in my adult life. And naturally I notice this god awful mother $#@! soul-sucking chirping sound just as I'm drifting off to sleep, about 45 minutes ago. So I undertake a stealth operation to sneak into the room without waking the boy (I soon realize that for some reason the chirping doesn't seem to be waking him, utley bless his little head) and investigate the matter. In my foggy brain the first thought I had was to try and disconnect the whole thing... but I soon thought better of that idea for fear that I'd accidentally set off armageddon smoke alarm hell. Then I notice on the detector it says "Hold to silence". What I didn't realize was that right above it it says "Hold to test", so like a dumb prick I accidentally set off smoke detector Defcon 3 for what must have been the longest 10 seconds of my life. And it wasn't like it tested just the alarm in Splinter's room... oh no, it set them ALL off. So after I got them all to shut the $#@! up (Hold to silence!), I went downstairs and tore apart every cheap plastic crap toy (YOU NEED A $#@! SCREW DRIVER TO DO THIS?! DIE CHINA. DIE DIE DIE) Splinter has in search of a 9 volt battery. Nothing. Then I remember we have an entire freezer full of batteries. Nothing. We have AAA $#@! batteries for days, but not one mother $#@! nine volt. Not one goddamn mother $#@! nine volt battery in the entire house, besides the ones currently residing in the smoke detectors. F my life. A sense of dread creeps in, but then, just as I'm about to break down and wake up the boy so that we can drive to the store and buy a five year supply of nine volt batteries, it hits me. THE GUITAR TUNER. *high five* Sanity saved. Sleepless night averted. Good night all. Change your batteries and test your smoke detectors.

I'm not kidding when I say that EVERY time I travelled, this happened to Vox, both before and after kids. And once it was the CO detector...

Woody wrote:So naturally, because my wife is away, the smoke detector in my son's bedroom decides to run out of battery power and starts doing that annoying 100 decibel chirp every 30 seconds. And naturally this happens the day when I'm the most tired I can recall in my adult life. And naturally I notice this god awful mother $#@! soul-sucking chirping sound just as I'm drifting off to sleep, about 45 minutes ago. So I undertake a stealth operation to sneak into the room without waking the boy (I soon realize that for some reason the chirping doesn't seem to be waking him, utley bless his little head) and investigate the matter. In my foggy brain the first thought I had was to try and disconnect the whole thing... but I soon thought better of that idea for fear that I'd accidentally set off armageddon smoke alarm hell. Then I notice on the detector it says "Hold to silence". What I didn't realize was that right above it it says "Hold to test", so like a dumb prick I accidentally set off smoke detector Defcon 3 for what must have been the longest 10 seconds of my life. And it wasn't like it tested just the alarm in Splinter's room... oh no, it set them ALL off. So after I got them all to shut the $#@! up (Hold to silence!), I went downstairs and tore apart every cheap plastic crap toy (YOU NEED A $#@! SCREW DRIVER TO DO THIS?! DIE CHINA. DIE DIE DIE) Splinter has in search of a 9 volt battery. Nothing. Then I remember we have an entire freezer full of batteries. Nothing. We have AAA $#@! batteries for days, but not one mother $#@! nine volt. Not one goddamn mother $#@! nine volt battery in the entire house, besides the ones currently residing in the smoke detectors. F my life. A sense of dread creeps in, but then, just as I'm about to break down and wake up the boy so that we can drive to the store and buy a five year supply of nine volt batteries, it hits me. THE GUITAR TUNER. *high five* Sanity saved. Sleepless night averted. Good night all. Change your batteries and test your smoke detectors.

write a book, goddamnit. Best piece of stream of consciousness I've read in fucking months.

sitting there waiting to get my haircut reading the scotsman, vile parochial sub-tory rag that it is. turn the page. FUCKING YANKEES.

I'm going to take some time getting over this.

bastard cunty mcbastard fuckwit grinning cunts.

I didn't go to work today because I couldn't deal with that fucking parade.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvEobeNfGcc&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

A minivan making an illegal left into a Walgreens got rear-ended this morning.

CalvinBall wrote:[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvEobeNfGcc&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

Ho. Ly. Shit.

That ponytail yankdown was something.