the use of the word "unfortunate" in this context has me tearing up here.

kruker wrote:the use of the word "unfortunate" in this context has me tearing up here.

I meant with regard to timing and composition, but if you want to go with in the pants, that's fine.

i wasn't even thinking in terms of the pants, but keep it coming. it's a layered joke now.

EndlessSummer wrote:

td11 wrote:

Bakestar wrote:

td11 wrote:getting coffee with this girl tomorrow and i'm already pretty nervous.

legit 9.5 in my book. uncharted territory for me.

A coffee date was always a risk for me because an afternoon/evening cup posed about a 15% chance of a raging, unavoidable, sloppy dump within 20 minutes of the first sip.

Maybe go with decaf? Or a nice biscot' to settle the stomach.

I'm probably projecting here.

thanks bake.

bsg is like the older brother i never had

Seriously, Bake, I don't want to judge, but I think you might have some gastro-intestinal issues. A pretty significant portion of your posts end with you taking a massive steamer as the result of eating something. That ain't normal.

Yes, friend, I am completely aware of this and have addressed the issue by avoiding Trouble Foods. It rarely happens anymore. I appreciate the concern.

I take Alavert and my allergies have been fine, thanks for asking.

It just reminds me of one of my friends once saying "I didn't think I was lactose intolerant until I realized that other people don't have raging rhea after nearly every meal."

Yet another reason for me to not start drinking coffee.

Is earl grey tea a reasonable substitute for the ladies?

I actually had one girl I dated for a long time tell me that she thought I was a whimp when she first met me because I didn't drink coffee. I told her I thought she was a fat cow when I met her because she ate a burger with bacon and blue cheese. Then we laughed and laughed. Ok, I didn't really say that, but she did say the thing about the coffee.

look, we're going to brew ha ha, and i'm getting a snickers coffee.

That sounds excellent. Maybe she'll let you touch her mounds afterwards.

zomg that would be most excellent.

so yeah, i'm looking at an all-nighter before the coffee date.

Barkerstar's Guidelines for Avoiding the Sloppy Date Dump:

1. No fettucine alfredo or other cream sauces (heavy cream is my kryptonite). This includes vodka sauce, which I never really cared for anyway.
2. If enjoying Mexican food (a Mexican restaurant can be a fun, casual first date), hold the sour cream.
3. Crispy fried animal skin: Delicious but deadly!
4. Stick to decaf if possible, or, if you must, skim milk only in the coffee. The stimulant + fat content in a cappuccino or latte will bring the ruckus on your downstairs places.
5. Avoid rich desserts; most better restaurants have some kind of Apple Tart or something similar. Go with that. Avoid Coldstone Creamery at all costs, that place is like Blastosaurus Central.
6. As with coffee, nicotine is a stimulant that will wreck you. Coffee + cigarettes + any of the above = "I'll be back in just a minute..."


For the record I've been tested for lactose intolerance on multiple occasions and it's not that, I'm just extremely sensitive to rich, fatty foods, particularly heavy dairy, which I suppose in the long run isn't the worst thing to be compelled to avoid.

hows ur vag brah

no, but, really, thanks for the advice. looks like just coffee for tonight, but i'm hoping i can parlay that into a mexican food date later.

Are we talking Dick Bagg in Van Wilder squirts? Because unless it's that bad you really ought to be able to pop into the bathroom for a quick deuce and be back quick enough that she wouldn't notice.

phatj wrote:Are we talking Dick Bagg in Van Wilder squirts? Because unless it's that bad you really ought to be able to pop into the bathroom for a quick deuce and be back quick enough that she wouldn't notice.

Maybe I just don't have the talent for a "quick deuce," but I would warn off any bathroom visit of more than 90 seconds.

With no disrespect to Bakestar's bowels, I suggest that guys who can't handle a coffee without embarrassing displays are the outliers. Pacino should not fret over this.

one of my students just typed "dictionary.com" into a search engine, and then clicked on the link to the page.

1 wrote:one of my students just typed "dictionary.com" into a search engine, and then clicked on the link to the page.

get used to this. half my friends do this. i have no idea why.

td11 wrote:

1 wrote:one of my students just typed "dictionary.com" into a search engine, and then clicked on the link to the page.

get used to this. half my friends do this. i have no idea why.

maybe because google is a lot more tolerant of typos and spelling mistakes and not knowing the exact url than the address bar of a typical search engine. And doesn't Chrome pretty much dispense with the address thingy and automatically put you in google?

TenuredVulture wrote:

td11 wrote:

1 wrote:one of my students just typed "dictionary.com" into a search engine, and then clicked on the link to the page.

get used to this. half my friends do this. i have no idea why.

maybe because google is a lot more tolerant of typos and spelling mistakes and not knowing the exact url than the address bar of a typical search engine. And doesn't Chrome pretty much dispense with the address thingy and automatically put you in google?

yep, yet another reason to love chrome.

Houshphandzadeh wrote:

phatj wrote:Are we talking Dick Bagg in Van Wilder squirts? Because unless it's that bad you really ought to be able to pop into the bathroom for a quick deuce and be back quick enough that she wouldn't notice.

Maybe I just don't have the talent for a "quick deuce," but I would warn off any bathroom visit of more than 90 seconds.

With no disrespect to Bakestar's bowels, I suggest that guys who can't handle a coffee without embarrassing displays are the outliers. Pacino should not fret over this.

It's pretty rare, but if one is being truly risk averse (as one should be with a purported 9.5), extreme caution is a worthy practice.