I wouldn't say we're close. Have dinner a lunch a few times a month with all of us. Her mom has been single the majority of her life.

follow your intuition, and like you said, go with your gut feeling. don't let them hold you hostage, break away if you gotta. Timing seems to be integral here, but if it works out after the fact, you guys will find a way.

sorry pal..

Mom likes to be in charge of everything. Problem is, I'm the driver. Can't tell you how many times I was told I was going the wrong way or my phone is wrong.

Don't take this as me passing judgement, but I would never buy a house with a woman I wasn't married to.

Slowhand wrote:Don't take this as me passing judgement, but I would never buy a house with a woman I wasn't married to.

Maybe that's what moma's girlfriend's mom said.

TenuredVulture wrote:

Slowhand wrote:Don't take this as me passing judgement, but I would never buy a house with a woman I wasn't married to.

Maybe that's what moma's girlfriend's mom said.

That's what I'm assuming. I don't know if marriage has been discussed at all...but I would probably advise my kid not to buy the house. But I'd like to think I'd only say it if they asked my opinion. Just doesn't seem like a great idea, and you're both probably better holding off and taking a step back.

moma's girlfriends mom already gave us money and the title company has it. to her credit, her mom has been a big help with the house up until now.

Slowhand wrote:

TenuredVulture wrote:

Slowhand wrote:Don't take this as me passing judgement, but I would never buy a house with a woman I wasn't married to.

Maybe that's what moma's girlfriend's mom said.

That's what I'm assuming. I don't know if marriage has been discussed at all...but I would probably advise my kid not to buy the house. But I'd like to think I'd only say it if they asked my opinion. Just doesn't seem like a great idea, and you're both probably better holding off and taking a step back.

The plan was to get married in the spring/summer. But who knows now. We have to be out of this place by 8/31. Perfect timing on giving my tenants a new 2 year lease.

Hmmm....maybe the mom heard you saying some weird stuff in your sleep in the hotel room.

Slowhand wrote:Hmmm....maybe the mom heard you saying some weird stuff in your sleep in the hotel room.

I hope so.

Hey man, sucks that you're going through this. If I were you, I'd probably ask your gf to go on a long walk. A walk is good for thinking, talking, walking in silence when needed, sharing emotions without the increased intimacy/pressure of eye contact, etc.

I find it a bit odd and disconcerting that, while you know nothing, you assume it's over. I/we obviously don't know the background to the relationship, and how you two are, but that's a huge leap. If my wife was withdrawn for 2 days, I'd assume something is bothering her, and that we'd need to talk about it in a way that both of us can share feelings and feel unjudged and safe. That's why I recommend you talk to her, and ask her open-ended questions about how she's feeling. And you should share as well. If you're considering getting married soon, you'll need to be able to have difficult conversations together.

BTW, do you need her income for the house? If not, would you want to buy the house on your own income?

Werthless wrote:Hey man, sucks that you're going through this. If I were you, I'd probably ask your gf to go on a long walk. A walk is good for thinking, talking, walking in silence when needed, sharing emotions without the increased intimacy/pressure of eye contact, etc.

I find it a bit odd and disconcerting that, while you know nothing, you assume it's over. I/we obviously don't know the background to the relationship, and how you two are, but that's a huge leap. If my wife was withdrawn for 2 days, I'd assume something is bothering her, and that we'd need to talk about it in a way that both of us can share feelings and feel unjudged and safe. That's why I recommend you talk to her, and ask her open-ended questions about how she's feeling. And you should share as well. If you're considering getting married soon, you'll need to be able to have difficult conversations together.

BTW, do you need her income for the house? If not, would you want to buy the house on your own income?

That's the plan for Monday. We're a block from the beach so we'll just do that. I'm going to guess she stay's at her mom's tonight. We're generally always open about whatever is bothering us. It's never "lets talk about it in a few days." it's "let's talk about this tonight." ... If I was married, I wouldn't think it was over. It'd be a lot easier to deal with this. Now I'm concerned about the possibility of something happening 6 months from now and potentially losing a shit ton of money.

The house we're moving to is where she wants to be. If it's not the 3 of us, I wouldn't move to that area.

Dude...

First, I'm so sorry. Secondly, don't hate me but there might be another guy. Those texts eerily remind me of a situation that I was in the middle of with two very close friends.

azrider wrote:Dude...

First, I'm so sorry. Secondly, don't hate me but there might be another guy. Those texts eerily remind me of a situation that I was in the middle of with two very close friends.

There's no other guy, that much I'm sure of.

Yeh, sounds like her mom planted a seed about something. You mentioned the directions and phone thing, did you get testy with her about it? If she likes control and feels like you insisted on the control, she might undercut you. Seems weird though.

Monkeyboy wrote:Yeh, sounds like her mom planted a seed about something. You mentioned the directions and phone thing, did you get testy with her about it? If she likes control and feels like you insisted on the control, she might undercut you. Seems weird though.

yeah.... control. Moma, have you taken a test to see if you're in an emotionally abusive relationship? They're available online, and all pretty much similar. I was in one for 5 years and really didn't know it.

Jeez Louise

just talk to her first and see what's up

Before you talk to her...
Have you named her as a beneficiary on any life insurance policies? It's possible she may be planning to murder you.

Houshphandzadeh wrote:Jeez Louise

just talk to her first and see what's up

absolutely, she might just be nervous about everything. No need to assume the worst.

Monkeyboy wrote:Yeh, sounds like her mom planted a seed about something. You mentioned the directions and phone thing, did you get testy with her about it? If she likes control and feels like you insisted on the control, she might undercut you. Seems weird though.

Naa ... Usually just a "no thanks" or "I'm good" ...